Book Reviews / 2022

intro

In 2022, I gave myself the goal of writing micro-reviews for every book I read. In total, I made it through 80 books. 11% were fiction, 7.5% were YA or middle-grade, 48.7% were children’s books, 10% were nonfiction, 22.5% were poetry. If you remove the children’s books, I only read 41 books, which isn’t bad considering I worked overtime a lot and had two children I was raising. Still, I know it’s paltry compared to most literati and academics. This doesn’t include books I haven’t finished yet or won’t bother to finish and roughly covers my reading from December 2021 to November 2022.

Of the 84 authors, 55.9% identify as cis women, 41.6% identify as cis men, 2.3% identify as non-binary or otherwise gender diverse. Of the 84 authors, 57% identify as white, 11.9% as Black, 9.5% as Latinx, 8.3% as Native, 8.3% as Asian, and 2.3% as Middle Eastern. 16.6% are based outside the US. 17.8% are LGBTQ+. These are largely disappointing stats for me, as I strive to read as many BIPOC and LGBTQ+ authors as possible. In children’s books especially, diverse content I found in local libraries wasn’t necessarily being written by BIPOC communities. It’s wild how much power the literary industry wields against BIPOC authors. Even folks conscious of its bias have to work hard to move against its grain to impact their reading habits.

I want to keep up the tradition of speed reviews, as they serve as a decent record of what I’ve been reading, allowing me to analyze my reading habits and for all of you to judge me. Enough people seem to enjoy a glimpse into my literary diet, so I will continue to posts these on social media.

I am starting a new tradition of posting a year round up with some stats on what I’ve been reading, as well as the first ever Willy Awards, given to my favorite books in each genre. To qualify for The Willy Award, I need to have read the book completed in the given year. The Willy Award will not grant the authors any professional credibility, but hopefully will warm their hearts in seeing that their work is cherished by a bookworm in the middle of nowhere.

This year’s Fiction Prize goes to:

  1. Piranesi by Susanna Clark

  2. Push by Sapphire

  3. Reprieve by James Han Mattson

    Remarks - Competition in this category were steep. Piranesi swept me away with its seamless magical worldbuilding, centered on the soul of a Piranesi, the main character. Push is the come-up story of Precious, a young girl in an extremely abusive home; it made me sob twice and should be required reading for everyone. Reprieve is a deftly smart take on horror, exploring queer characters with complex migration stories and a range of interesting, even if disgusting, assorted folks.

This year’s YA and Middle Grade Prize goes to:

  1. Monday’s Not Coming by Tiffany D. Jackson

    Remarks - Extremely deftly written with a complex braided narrative.

This year’s Children’s Literature Prize goes to:

  1. The Hips on the Drag Queen Go Swish! Swish! Swish! by Lil Miss Hot Mess

  2. Paletero Man by Lucky Diaz

  3. People are Wild by Margaux Meganck

    Remark - Writing a captivating children’s book is harder than it looks. These three books were a blast to share with Nathan. The Hips on the Drag Queens Go Swish! Swish! Swish! was thrilling, joyful and playful in a way that is so needed for queer children. Paletero Man was a joyful stroll through a POC neighborhood, rich with food and kindness. People are Wild is a genuinely insightful take on how animals must look at people, all in a warm children’s book.

This year’s Nonfiction Prize goes to:

  1. When I was Red Clay by Jonathan T. Bailey

Remarks - This is the hardest category because all of the titles except one of them were absolutely excellent. I am giving this to Jonathan for sentimental reasons; as a queer post-Mormon, I deeply relate to the work. All the other authors, with exception of the Aloha Rodeo guys, are absolutely stellar and I couldn’t choose between them.

This year’s Poetry Prize goes to:

  1. A Snake in Her Mouth: Collected Poems by nila northSun

  2. Scorpionic Sun by Mohammed Khair-Eddine, trans Connor Bracken

  3. All The Flowers Kneeling by Paul Tran

Remarks - nila northSun is my new favorite poet for her non-pretentious soulful descriptions of the joys and tribulations of small-town life. She navigates her audience with the wry truthfulness the poetry world needs more of nowadays, especially with its enamoration with identity politics and bombast. Scorpionic Sun is self-described literary guerilla warfare and propulses forward with a sharp doggedness that will flatten you. All the Flowers Kneeling is a masterpiece investigation on what “healing” actually means in the aftermath of sexual and intergenerational violence.

The Willy Book-of-the-Year goes to Piranesi by Susanna Clark.

FICTION

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison (1970)

I don't need to tell you Toni Morrison is a G. It's banned in Utah. And if you come for Toni, we come for your neck. 5/5

Lawn Boy by Jonathan Evison (2018)

This book stole my heart. It's main character is a working class culturally removed Latino who lives on the rez and just lost his job bc he was tired of degrading, uncompensated extra labor of his job. Evison manages to make the details of landscaping joyous and being unemployed hilarious without blinking at the humiliation and frustration of being in such a predicament. I loved the way Evison poked at the contradictions, shortcomings, and silliness of everyone from the rich to toxic young men to hustlers and more. I also really appreciated its navigation of ability in real terms, nailing the exhaustion and love you carry when a loved one is mentally disabled. Almost forgot to mention: this book is banned in some Utah High schools for being too gay. 4/5

Let The Wild Grasses Grow by Kase Johnstun (2021)  

The story of two Mexican/Native families torn apart by tragedy. It has excellent exploration of racism, ww2, the dust bowl, gender, and love. It turned me into an insufferable emo puddle. I love this book very much. 4/5

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (1997)

What a tormented and awful work of genius. At times, reading this book was like banging my head against the wall. As many readers, I crawl my way through a book oftentimes by attaching myself emotionally to the narrator, and Nabokov wields that vulnerability to a nauseating and scathing affect. No one wants to feel like they understand or empathize with a pedophile. Written in luscious, seductive language, I found myself strung by a narrative thread of tension and in full hatred with myself for enjoying the literature, the artful craft of it all. This book is an incredibly useful tool for any student of literature to analyze how they read books and why. Anyone who enters Lolita with the intention of learning something or as some form of escapism would soon get a broken nose, so to say.

That said, after putting the book down for days or weeks, my approach to reading changed. I learned how to take pleasure in the brilliance of the narrative, the poetic symbols, tightly crafted plots and intelligent eye of the narrator, all of which were deeply incriminating. What I love about Lolita is how much it asks of us as readers. It is not a book you can read in peace as you strive to empathize with the humanity of the characters, especially those given horrifically little consideration by the narrator.

This is a book I wish I would have read young with a very astute mentor for its lessons on the toxicity, lust, and abuse some call love. But these lessons are hardly the point. In fact, young readers might miss them entirely, confused by Humbert Humbert’s powerful and futile fits of passion.

This book is banned in Utah. 5/5

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke (2020) *

I have not had as pleasurable as a read as Piranesi in a long time. Clarke drops you into an alternate universe where all the main character knows is an endless house filled with statues and a strange rhythm of tides. The pace is calculated and peaceful until its not. The main character's resourcefulness and general good faith make him easy to love and Clarke exploits dramatic irony to create an incredible amount of tension. Beyond all that, the book is simply beautiful, image by emotion by image. I long for more books that manage to create their own little universe removed from the noise of the world and yet are so worldly and full of life. 5/5

Push by Sapphire (1996)
Before reading Push, I entered the book with a knapsack of strong opinions from the debate surrounding this book. Push has been banned across the country for its explicit depictions of sexual violence. I first learned about Push in an African American literature May term, where it was criticized by the protagonists of Percival Everett’s Erasure, a novel centering on the experiences of an upper-class Black man frustrated that the only depictions of Black people the literary world cherishes centers on poverty and trauma, as if all Black people are is their suffering. Precious, the narrator, initially shocked and repelled my system in one of the opening scenes where she disrupts her classroom. I was worried the novel would not adequately engage toxic aspects of her personality, romanticizing her the way overly woke circles romanticize the toxicity of the oppressed. On the contrary, in the diary-like narration, Sapphire masterfully manages to show the complex bulwark of relationships navigates all while staying true to the narrator’s limited world and language. I was especially impressed with how Precious alludes to Louis Farrakhan early on as a leader who helped her see her value in a white world and later introduces a critique of Farrakhan by Precious’s lesbian teacher. Precious’s resilience in the face of her ghastly childhood and her dedication to her education, despite unbelievable barriers, would endear her to everyone except for the most heartless and cruel readers. While I admit I am probably easier to make cry than your average reader, I have never had a book make me sob with audible gasps and Push made me do so twice. Sapphire describes grotesque sexual violence unflinchingly, making the scenes where Precious finally finds her voice and taps the power of reading and writing slice through your heart. When you have been deprived of so much, the moment you are given access to the power of language, as well as other small but invaluable privileges, can be the most heartbreaking because it is then you realize just how much you have been deprived of. This book unquestionably among one of the top five most important books I have ever read in my life. I recommend this book to fans of Educated by Tara Westover and Gentefication by Antonio Lopez, and to anyone interested in LGBTQ+ literature, literature about education, YA literature, coming-of-age stories, Black literature, fiction, and literature about sexual violence.
5/5

Reprieve by James Han Mattson (2021)

Imo, this novel is just as good as A Visit From the Goon Squad! It's handling of race, queerness, and gender is impressive, as it skillfully unpacks the internalized racism of an international student and tensions between different marginalized groups. The narrative is absolutely gripping and has moving commentary about horror, its artistic role in people's lives, and what a healthy relationship to all that looks like. Thank you to @undertheumbrellabookstore horror club for putting this one on my radar. 5/5

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid (2017)

Delightful and competently written novel about a queer woman's journey through love and stardom with some truly touching and relatable moments. I side eye the narrator quite a bit, but the narrative ultimately pays off, even if it feels like you're watching a reality TV or pop news. Reid's navigation of closeted queerness in these pages is compelling and contrasts heavily with the glam and glitter of the red carpet. 3/5

Strange Children by Sadie Hoagland - This book is haunted. A symphony of voices from a fictionalized fundamentalist Mormon community narrate the downfall of its people and the disappearance of their prophet. What Sadie pulls of here in terms of music and dialect is insane. The cadence and flow will lick its way into your ears. More importantly, this book manages to flesh out the oftentimes stereotyped and little understood Mormon fundamentalist communities pocking the West. Does she succeed? Here's where I'm not sure. I’m sure some fundamentalists would be upset to see themselves once again characterized in large part by violence, pedophilia, and blood atonement. There's always the risk readers will come to gawk. As a post-Mormon, however, I feel a tenderness in Sadie's work an aching desire to make sense of the violent history we've inherited. I was swept up at many points and recommend it especially to folks in Mormondom. 4.5/5

MIDDLE GRADE / YA

All American Boys by Jason Reynolds and Brendan Kiely (2015)
Banned for its engagement of police brutality and a handful of swear words, I was somewhat worried All American Boys would be overly didactic and hard to get through. Maybe it would be on the page, but at least via audiobook I was thoroughly engaged, enjoying the interactions between the teenagers and adults. The book follows two perspectives: 1) Rashad Butler, a Black high school ROTC teen who suffers an incident of police brutality and 2) Quinn Collins, a white basketball player and the son of a veteran who died in the Middle East. This positioning of the main characters in relation to the military was a wise move, because it allowed them to wrestle with what it means to be patriotic and gave them military and police ties that forced them to look into the incident of police brutality with nuance. Quinn, for example, was the mentee of the guilty officer and shifts between defending him and holding him accountable. Quinn’s journey in this regard is wonderful to watch, because even though he’s very well intentioned, he makes plenty of hiccups along the way, and learns how to handle them with grace. Rashad, on the other hand, has a former police officer as a father who once paralyzed an innocent unarmed man out of fear. This makes the desire for justice and vengeance complicated as hell for Rashad and forces him and all of us as readers to think more critically about what healthy justice looks like. All American Boys does not critique the military industrial complex, and maybe it should, but the fact it doesn’t makes it easier to use as a pedagogical tool, as its tough enough to have a conversation about police brutality in the classroom without introducing another complicated conversation about power. The dive between both perspectives keeps the narrative moving sharply. According to the middle school teacher I know, it’s also a hit with the kids. I recommend this book for anyone interesting in perspectives in fiction, how to write about race, the Black Lives Matter movement, YA fiction, Black fiction, and books about the military and police.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Deep End by Dan Russell (2020)

This is Baby Chino's first completed chapter book. I'm so proud of him for muscling through. It's no wonder this series is popular. This kid's life is so awful it's hilarious. 3.5/5

l8r, g8r by Lauren Myracle (2007)  

A very catty and engrossing read about a group of teens who get into ALL the drama during high school. The depictions of romantic life are not romanticized at all and it alludes to sex, rather than describing it. It's in text message format and frankly much more tame then the average pop song and what teens say to each other on a regular basis. This book is banned in Utah. 3/5

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen (2020)

I bought this graphic novel for young readers in my life and couldn’t resist the urge to read it before wrapping it up for Christmas. After a few pages of throat-clearing, Nguyen’s story hums snugly along as the main character navigates a wholesome, awkward young queerness and shares fairytale reading with his mother. I’m impressed with the scope of plot points addressed in this snappy novel. The main character’s grandmother dies, and he experiences the strange sadness of grieving someone you never met and the family’s turmoil as they grieve across borders. Never does the main character get reduced to one aspect of his identity, and we get charming glimpses of his school life and kind friends, as well as his challenges as a queer child of Vietnamese immigrants. The fairy tales included in the book provide it a charm and intertextual depth that kick this book above your average middle-grade fiction. 4/5

Monday's Not Coming by Tiffany Jackson (2018)

An absolutely harrowing book that masterfully illustrates the effects of PTSD and puts you in the gut of a young black girl. This is a powerful book for discussing the epidemic of missing black girls and the ways youth can see things parents can't. There's so much I love about this book and it's banned in Utah. 4/5

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson (1999)

Written in the voice of teenager Melinda Sorino, Speak immediately places you in deeply familiar halls of a high school that—despite the distances of decades and states—might as well have been my own. You witness stumbling attempts at friendship and community amid a difficult terrain of power, insecurity, and confidence. Speak is legendary as a breakthrough book about a contemporary teenage survivor of sexual violence and for being targeted and banned by conservatives. While Speak does make excellent kindling to spark a conversation about everything from #MeToo to immigration issues to educational policy, readers likely will fall in love with it for reasons beyond the values imbedded in the text. Melinda’s trauma and symptoms are relatable without being pitiable sob story. The reaction of Melinda’s friends to her story models a range of compassionate and heartless responses to an experience of victimhood. While the trauma of sexual violence and her healing journey do define the narrative, the struggle to find your niche in high school is something many of us share. I especially appreciate one of the first friendships Melinda pursues in Speak, because both characters are outsiders who attempt to find connection and truck along despite failing to forge a real bond. The camaraderie of these friendless relationship is something I’ve rarely seen reflected in literature and is captured endearingly, even through their scuffles and eventual dissolution. I loved how the art teacher was portrayed with all his foibles. A supportive teacher for the students, but in no way romanticized and frequently described in unflattering but charming ways. He reminded me of my Art History teacher who I cherished. The scenes most conservatives are mad about I believe are the following two: 1) in one scene, Melinda witnesses a student stand up to a teacher who gives a racist rant against immigrants. Melinda isn’t brave enough to speak up and through the mentorship of this outspoken student learns to eventually speak up about her own experiences in the classroom. Melinda stumbles and learns slowly throughout this process and its tender to watch her growth. 2) There is a scene where Melinda’s rapist tries to violently rape her again, but she fights him and is eventually rescued by classmates who catch the assailant in his act. It is true that the rapist isn’t humanized very much and he’s a pretty flat, blatantly evil villain with rumors about him written on bathroom stalls. That’s hardly a reason to knock the book though since very few writers can write from that perspective effectively and with enough purpose. As for the depiction of violence, it’s something too many of our teens have already experienced. The conversation shouldn’t be whether teens should get to engage with this content, but how. I recommend this book for anyone interested in YA, literature about education, literature about sexual violence, and banned books.

CHILDREN’S LITERATURE

A Blue Kind of Day by Rachel Tomlinson (2022)

This book was disappointing yall. Great message and great illustrations but if want a kid to talk about grief you need a better storyline. Nathan hated the idea of the book and the execution did NOTHING to help. I hate giving such attempts at good low scores but this gets a generous 2, mostly bc the illustrations rocked.

are we there yet by Adam James (2015)

Vivid visuals for otherwise boring storytelling sampling cultures from around the world. Not unpleasant but not good. 2/5

The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, The Bad, and The Spooky by Jory John (2021)

This delightful children’s book follows Bad Seed as he attempts to find a perfect Halloween costume, fails, and then proceeds to try to cancel Halloween and spoil the celebrations for everyone else. Though he’s initially charming, his toxicity is easily recognizable, and Nathan and I immediately shared an understanding glance once his behavior started to act up. The book holds an excellent lesson against perfectionism and just being chill and enjoying the fun, even if you aren’t the star of attention, resolving with Bad Seed reinstating Halloween to a hilariously indifferent crowd of veggies that didn’t listen to his ridiculousness in the first place. Deeply enjoyable.
4/5

Bodies Are Cool by Tyler Feder (2021)

Never too early to teach body positivity. There are a delightfully diverse range of bodies here and this book creates space for kiddos to ask awkward questions about bodies. It's fun to talk with Nathan about what body most catches his eye here and have conversations about how difference and disability don't need to be inherently tragic. 5/5

Call Me Max / Kyle Lukoff / 2019

This is the banned book at the center of the Murray school district scandal in 2019. The book includes the definition of transgender and dares to depict the stress that trans children undergo when they can’t find a bathroom that fits or otherwise have gender imposed on them. I read the book with an eight-year-old and they could reiterate what it meant to be trans to me afterward. This book is at times clearly didactic and includes scenes that are perhaps not crucial to the storyline but provide an illuminating moment on gender. The particle scene that irked me a bit in this regard is when the white protagonist meets a gender non-conforming lack boy in a dress who tells him clothes isn’t what makes gender. The Black character isn’t given anymore airtime which feels weird because Max clearly already undergoes bullying for his behavior and he’s less of a target than a Black boy in a dress for sure. 4/5

I recommend each of these titles for folks interested in children’s literature with substance or with LGBTQ+ themes.

Carl and the Meaning of Life / Deborah Freedman / 2019

I am always surprised what books Nathan and Chino grab. Carl is a worm going through an existential crisis after a bug asks him why he eats and poops dirt. Carl goes about asking all the creatures about his purpose and being dissatisfied by their answers until he realizes he is an important part of the ecosystem and everything would collapse without him. The art was rich and humble as dirt. 5/5

Chaiwala by Priti Birla Maheshwari (2021)  

Chaiwala gave me the opportunity to introduce Nathan to the spices @sparrowperchandplay keeps in a cabinet. Only critique is that the book was too short. 4.5/5

City Cat by Kate Banks (2013)

A street cat tours Europe in a highly alliterative and sonically rich journey. They have a high vocabulary so expect to help your youngster sound out words. 3/5

Desert Girl, Monsoon Boy by Tara Dairman (2020)

Gorgeously illustrated book about how culture shifts across landscape and how environmental pressures can bring unlikely people together. It's at a very easy reading level, so your kid can sit back and enjoy the ride. 4/5

Don't Hug Doug by Carrie Finison (2021)

Don’t Hug Doug was a playful and blunt lesson on boundaries with a diverse cast of kids and crafty storytelling. 5/5
Drawn Together by Minh Le (2018)

This book tells the story of a grandfather and grandson who communicate via drawings bc of a language barrier. Very easy read for earlier readers full of magical and heartfelt images. 5/5

Flora the Flamingo by Molly Idle (2013)

Playful story of a ballerina that bashfully copies a flamingo for her moves and gets caught and welcomed. Soothing and warm. 4/5

Fire! Fuego! Brave Bomberos by Susan Middleton Elya (2012)  

Fire! was a great way to get Nathan to try a lil Spanish or at least get it in his ears. Complete with detailed pictures and heroism, it gave him plenty to feast his eyes upon. 3/5

Fuego, Fuegito by Jorge Argueta (2019)

Fuego Fuegito is trilingual: Spanish, Nawat, and English. Jorge is a Salvi OG and I'm stoked to see his work evolve in this direction.

The Good Egg by Jory John (2019)

While most children books tell naughty kids to behave, this one tells the goody-goodies to chill tf down and let people live. It's a unique and humorous twist. The depictions of the bad eggs are hilarious. 😈😈😈 5/5

Groovy Joe: Ice Cream and Dinosaurs by Eric Litwin (2016)

Groovy Joe: Ice Cream and Dinosaurs has great lessons about sharing. Easy sell for the kids. 4/5 

Grumpy Bird by Jeremy Tankard (2007)
Early this year, I reviewed A Blue Kind of Day, a well-meaning book that attempted to discuss difficult emotions with children yet utterly failed to be engaging in my opinion. Lucky me, Grumpy Bird by Jeremy Tankard does everything A Blue Kind of Day failed to do. Grumpy bird’s concerned animal friends notice him as he goes on a walk, and un-intrusively and compassionately try to cheer him up. I appreciate how Grumpy bird does not take this well at first, which is realistic and relatable. His friends don’t respond with toxic positivity, and the improvement of Grumpy bird’s mood happens slowly and rather unintentionally, without any untrue epiphanies. Tankard does an excellent job normalizing the reality of a bad mood and providing us with worthwhile strategies for feeling better.
5/5

The Hips on the Drag Queen Go Swish! Swish! Swish! by Lil Miss Hot Mess (2020)

Nathan’s favorite children’s book is an interactive blast with tickling art. 5/5
I Walk with Vanessa by Kerascoët (2018)

Sweet message with detailed images you and your little will linger on to catch playful narratives details. It even role models how to deal with bullies. 3.5/5

I'm Dirty by Kate and Jim McMullen (2006)

I'm a sucker for such playful and easy-to-convince- kids-to-read books. This one doesn't disappoint. You learn about tractors. Watch them enjoy their filth. What else do you need? 4/5

It's a Tiger by David LaRochelle (2012)
An energetic children’s book that will have you on the edge of your seat as the main character, your young one, and you run away from tigers. The rich and detailed illustrations by Jeremy Tankard draw the reader into charming landscapes that inevitably will hide yet another tiger. Despite the short snappy lines, you might be out-of-breath by the time you reach the end of this book, as its best read performatively, yelling at every exclamation point. Buckle up the kiddos. I recommend this book to anyone interested in children’s literature and environmental literature. 5/5

Julian is a Mermaid / Jessica Love / 2018

One of Utah’s banned books, I expected a spicier narrative from Julian is a Mermaid. Spoiler Alert, here is the entire plot: a young Black takes down a shower curtain and pretends to be a mermaid. His mother catches him and thinks it’s kinda weird, but later takes him to where there are other mermaids who vaguely resemble drag queens. That’s it. Most of it is expressed visually. There is no explicit gender play besides some mild gender non-conforming but completely normal behavior for a young boy. I loved the rich and tender visuals sure to bring out your inner femme. Nathan was surprised by how shortness of the book but enjoyed the visuals. He wants to be a mermaid, too. 5/5

Let’s be Friends by Rene Colato Lainez (2021)

This is an extremely simple book for early reading levels, outlining several activities two youngsters do to get to know one another. Simple yet charming illustrations. Bilingual. It gets the job done with little need for magic or virtuoso. 2/5

Lies and Other Tall Tales by Zora Neal Hurston (2005)

A children's book full of dozens and playful illustrations. Nathan didn'

Life on Mars by Jon Agee (2017)  

Life on Mars was short, sweet, and utilizes dramatic irony in a slick way to give us a clever laugh. I wish it was longer! Nathan didn’t want to read then was bummed when it was over. Hilarious and so so much fun. 5/5

Little Leena Learns About Ramadan by Zainab Fadlallah (2021)

Sometimes these multicultural kids books get too woke and educational for their own good. This book about Ramadan manages to be educational without a cringy moment. Full of delightful images and an adorable main character Leena whose curiosity drives the narrative, this book helped me talk to Nathan about Muslim cultures in a natural and fun way. 4/5

Mary Wears What She Wants by Keith Negley (2019)

Amazing true story of the woman who pioneered wearing pants. Great for unlearning the act of gendering clothing. Amazing storytelling and fun drawings. 5/5

Nighttime Symphony by Timbaland (2019)

Not a bad children's book and a generally competent ode to music, this book lacked some of the lyrical miracle and wordplay I was hoping for. Didn't really stand out. 3/5

Niño Wrestles the World by Yuyi Morales (2013)

Highly recommend this dorky children's book! It even features a ghostly llorona.

Oh No! Or How My Science Project Destroyed the World by Mac Barnett (2010)

Delightful image-heavy, text-light children's book with a young genius's shenanigans. 5/5

Paletero Man by Lucky Diaz (2021)

Paletero Man was my FAVORITE!!! It introduced children to a diverse spectrum of people and their food in the neighborhood. It depicts a largely poc neighborhood as a neighborhood that looks out for one another. And it taught a great lesson about good karma returning to you when you have bad luck. 5/5 

People are Wild by Marguax Meganck (2022)
People are Wild is a perfect children’s book that will be an easy sell to your young one. Written in the voice of animal parents, Margaux warns young creatures to look out for humans, pointing out our loudness, messiness, and other foibles. This perspective has the dual power of giving our young ones a kind nurturing narrator and bending their minds to imagine what they would think of humans if they were animals. Complete with short slick lines without sacrificing a message, Meganck has proven herself a sharp writer. Her adorable pictures drawn in color pencil and painted with watercolor give the book a snuggly warmth. Her author presentations teach students the importance of hard work and persistence, as well as asks them to develop empathy for animals, all with a live drawing demonstration as a cherry on top. I recommend this book for anyone interested in environmental literature, animals studies, or children’s literature.
5/5

Pow Wow Day by Traci Sorrell (2022)

A spiritual children's book about the beauty of pow wows. The child protagonist has to sit out bc of illness and learns how to appreciate and feel included in the rituals even as she's left out. 5/5

Pug, the Fibber by Aaron Blabey (2018)

This doggy is naughty and keeps blaming his brother for his mistakes. His mischief ends up cracking his head, so he sorta learns his lesson. Delightfully told. 3/5

Punk Farm by Jarrett J. Krosoczka (2005)
Wish it was a tad grittier and more anti establishment but it was plenty of fun.

Room for Everyone by Naaz Khan (2021)  

Room for Everyone tells the classic tale of global south communities squeezing unimaginable amounts of people and items into vehicles. It's told with humor, swag, and incredible sound.

Singing in the Rain by Tim Hopgood (2017)

Unbeatable images pair melodic and dreamy lyrics. Excellent image-text balance. 5/5

What a Party! by Ana Maria Machado (2013)

This book feels gloriously non-North American and has a fun catalog of different national cuisines. 4/5 for slight translationese.

Zoo Zen by Kristen Fischer (2017)

Zoo Zen was a blast. Great for getting kids to try some fun physical movement. I'm a sucker for cute animals too. 5/5

Zora’s Zucchini by Katherine Pryor (2015)

This is the last book in the world I expected Nathan to grab from the library because the boys are notoriously reluctant to eat veggies. He took genuine interest in the gardening process and even learned a cute message about sharing. 4/5

NONFICTION

Against the Sacrifice Zone by Alisa Slaughter (2022)

I, again, found this zine at the National Humanities Conference in LA, November 2022. It’s a ruminating little essay on borderlands, environmental collapse, Covid-19, climate change, and monarch butterflies. The parallels the author draws between the dry spots in her mind, the brain fog, after surviving Covid-19 and the dry spots in a ravaged, dehydrated environment is but one example of the elegant poetry captured in a few short paragraphs. Perfect for a conversation on environmental activism and interrelated struggles. 5/5

Aloha Rodeo by David Wolman and Julian Smith (2019)

I finally read this book in its entirety after realizing it would make a good children’s book if remixed correctly. The authorial voice is at once socially astute, picking up on the logical contradictions of his subjects and noting moments of humor and criticism, while at the same time being annoyingly white and colonial. The prose uses the word “braves” for Native Americans at points and forgets to put quotations around terms like “civilizing” when discussing the colonization of Hawaii. The book reads as if it was written by your averagely racist white person who received decent feedback from someone who pointed that out, and then went and made a good faith but stumbling effort to edit the manuscript.

The information therein is written in muscular prose and was well-researched. I loved learning about paniolos, Hawaiian cowboys, who learned their art from vaqueros. The Latino/Hawaiian solidarity was something I didn’t expect. What I appreciate most about this book is its eye towards intercultural clashes, as the West was settled. As much as I have my reservations about animal welfare and steer roping, Aloha Rodeo contextualizes them with clear, nonjudgmental eyes that made me appreciate the artistry. 2.5/5

Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe (2019)

This book reminded me a painful lot about Selina Foster. I wonder how much pain it would've saved them. It's a funny, down to earth and gutsy graphic novel about discovering you asexuality and gender queerness. And it's banned in Utah. 5/5

High-Risk Homosexual by Edgar Gomez (2022)
Hailing from Nicaragua and Puerto Rico, Gomez shares rough-and-tumble coming-of-age and coming out stories that will squish the goo and glitter out of your heart. High-Risk Homosexual is young, brown, and broke and these aspects in particular will grant Gomez a fawning audience of young queers, eager to see their experiences reflected. At Under the Umbrella Bookstore in Salt Lake City, a fellow Latina from Florida shared with Gomez how she, too, had to come out to her mother more than once. While my mother only threatened to send me to El Salvador when she realized my first partner was LGBTQ+, Gomez was sent to Nicaragua as a teenage boy to be “made a man” by his macho tios and have his virginity taken by a local teenage girl. Lucidly written and deeply readable, High-Risk Homosexual doesn’t waste time with literary flexing, instead expanding and contracting scenes and reflection with concision and precision. Written by someone without significant queer role models around him, Gomez’s memoir outlines how he learned the hard way to build healthy relationships and love himself, bouncing between self-acceptance and hiding, love and disappointment. Like many of us, Gomez at first sometimes tried to distinguish himself apart from other queers who were too gay, too flamboyant, too feminine, too sexually promiscuous in ways that weren’t productive. In reading this memoir, I suspect and hope that young readers will find not only cautionary tales on what liquors and men to avoid, but also strategies for how to build authentic support and community for themselves. This memoir does the work that many good memoirs do—showing us what privations and shames we share, making the burden easier for all of us to bear. I have pitched this review around young readers because Gomez himself positions the book that way, ending with a reflection on the “It gets better” narrative traditionally fed to queer children clawing for hope in a terrifyingly hateful world. Here, I wanted Gomez to expand further because his stories, while certainly useful for young queers, are also invaluable to the world at large. This industry is quick to box the audiences for BIPOC and LGBTQ+ authors, and I want Gomez to be cherished by readers beyond a publicist’s imagination. Beyond that, there’s very little for me to critique here. Memoirs are usually best written by authors aged with wisdom, and what Gomez has pulled off here while barely cracking thirty is more than impressive—it’s masterful. I recommend High-Risk Homosexual to fans of Danez Smith, Justin Torres, and Ocean Vuong, folks interested in LGBTQ+ literature, YA, Memoir, Latinx literature, Florida, the Pulse Massacre, Central American literature, and Caribbean literature. 4/5

Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi (2003)

Nafisi's memoir is a crucial read for anyone wrestling with how to keep their humanity intact in the face of an oppressive regime. Nafisi painstakingly narrates the way Austen, Nabokov, Fitzgerald, and other Western classics allowed her and her students to dream the forbidden in times when their options were quickly narrowing. She made me fall in love with the traditional literary canon in a way I have largely chosen not to for years. It is nauseating and infuriating to realize how many theocratic Iranian arguments against books are being parroted by folks like Utah Parents United and all the book banners out there. Reader, if today's political landscape numbs you, if you feel yourself hardening and losing pieces of yourself, open a book, maybe this one. We cannot find our ways out of this hellscape without our whole selves, our feelings, alive. 5/5

Unwell Women by Elinor Cleghorn (2021)

An infuriating and heartfelt journey through how men have ignored, exacerbated, and caused indescribable amounts of humiliation and suffering for women as a whole. If it were up to me, this book is where we would begin in educating men about feminism. Because it shows how life and death feminism is for women. Because women's bodies have been stigmatized and mystified in ways that deserve concrete breakdowns of the consequences of sexism beyond liberal conversations of privilege and identity. Because my autocorrect keeps changing sexism to seismic. Because sexism IS seismic. Because two of my previous partners had vaginismus and the medical system was useless in addressing their concerns. Because they're about to overturn Roe vs Wade. Because while these conversations will butt into religious and cultural arenas, it will show the awful consequences of not believing women when they're in pain and not allowing them autonomy over their bodies. 4.5/5

Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer (2003)

Holy shit. What an important read when it comes to frankly discussing cultures of violence in Mormon religions at large. People inside the culture of Mormonism will probably recognize the terms Blood Atonement and Mountain Meadows Massacre. The depth in contextualizing this violence within larger Mormon cultures and events was mindblowing. This book contextualizes the Elizabeth Smart case and the Lafferty murders within traditions of violence. It sincerely grapples with how you keep a mystic religion from snapping under the weight of democratic revelation. It made me sincerely grapple with the argument of whether or not the Lafferty men were sane enough to stand trial. I can see this book pissing many Mormons off, as it focuses heavily on the dark underbelly of Mormonism. The history and legacy of polygamy can't be avoided however. My biggest critique is AGAIN a refusal of historians to see Mormons of color as authentic Mormons, especially including an erasure of Native Mormon stories, like Washakie, the Bear River Massacre, etc. There's nuance to unpack here and I'm tired of historians acting like the ways people of color practiced Mormonism as not worthy of note. 4/5

When I was Red Clay by Jonathan T Bailey (2022)

My favorite book about the Utah queer experience. I read this ravenously and with my heart nuzzling my face. 6/5

POETRY

All the Flowers Kneeling by Paul Tran (2022)

Incredibly burning debut by a powerhouse poet. The entire collection grapples with the meaning of "healing" after sexual violence. It really digs deep into the ways we sometimes get in the way of our own healing. 4.5/5

Border Vista by Anni Liu (2022)

One of my favorite poets with a collection about being precariously documented, overcoming different forms of relational violence, and navigating Chinese and American culture. Even at its heaviness, Liu has this way of making you feel like you're floating.

Cenizas by Cynthia Guardado (2022)
Cynthia Guardado’s growth between her debut collection of poetry Endeavor and Cenizas is dramatic and rewarding—a remarkable feat for someone whose talent and craft were never in question. Cenizas is a tight-knit collection, largely centering on the challenge of grieving loved ones, especially across fronteras, where the possibility of closure is swiftly denied by racist immigration law. Written in Guardado’s signature lucid and plaintive voice, Cynthia’s poems confront violence with a disarmingly straightforward style. Sit with it, her poems ask you, a necessary act for all of us as we shoulder the losses of this world, whether that’s Guardado’s own dying relationship with her abuelo or the history of genocide hidden in La Puerta del Diablo. Along the way, we trace a map of the way the Salvadoran Civil War and migration has shaped the life of Guardado and her family. Guardado includes a couple of ekphrastic poems that capture scenes from the war, which she connects to the experiences of her and her family. There is also a series of poems contemplating her name and meditating on the in-betweenness, the liminality, so frequently discussed in Latinx literatures. Guardado’s work occupies this zone more authentically than many or perhaps she expresses this sensation more effectively than most. Perhaps it’s the way she includes whole stanzas and poems in Spanish, alternating between languages unapologetically centering the bilingual reader. Perhaps it’s the grief and the way Guardado seems constantly displaced throughout this collection. The “Call Me Refugee” series accomplish all of the above with the added punch of its title, which points to the fact that Salvadorans have historically been denied refugee status in the United States despite the fact our people are clearly refugees of a US-funded Cold War. Cenizas holds its own against Javier Zamora’s Unaccompanied, and both poetry collections illuminate the complexities of Salvadoran experiences alongside one another. While I have yet to read Alexandra Regalado’s Relinqueda, I suspect these two collections would speak to one another immensely, as Regalado’s collection also close as Regalado’s collection also closely examines grief. I recommend Guardado’s collection to anyone interested in sequencing in poetry collections, elegies and poems about grieving, Latinx literature, Central American literature, and war literature. 3/5

Conflict Resolutions for Holy Beings by Joy Harjo (2015)

The most significant thing about Joy Harjo’s work in my brief dives into it is her authoritative wisdom, which allows her to break so many rules. What would be didactic goo from one writer is rendered a pearl of wisdom in her hands. Halfway through reading this book, I realized to my great delight that many of the poems therein double as song lyrics, which you can find on Spotify, read in a hearty jazzy-and-yet-somehow-folksy spoken word style. Simultaneously plainspoken and mythic, Joy’s collection is one I want to thrust into the hands of young poets hellbent on killing themselves with their lust, passion, and ambitions. 4.5/5  

Dearest Water by Nancy Takacs (2022)

The last section of the book includes two sublime longer poems and would be a 5/5 as its own little chapbook. The collection made me want to read Alberto Rios.

Felon by Reginald Dwayne Betts (2019)

These poems give readers a glimpse into the ways the prison system will follow you via labels, nightmares, psychological trauma, and more, even decades after you leave your cell. Generous yet snappy read. There's a reason folks consider Betts a GOAT. This book is only one of them. 3/5

 if not, winter: Fragments of Sappho by Anne Carson (2002)

One of the lost legends of lesbian poetry, Anne Carson provides notes and translations for what we have left. Which isn't a lot and isn't very satisfying, while at the same time feeling very urgent and meaningful. This is a great place to start for understanding the what remains and is full of lyrical glimpses of imagery, sound and diction. 3/5

Islanders by Teow Lim Goh (2016)

Drawing from a rich archive of voices, Goh taught me some of the details involved in early twentieth century Chinese migration to the US. Most interestingly, she directs the reader to a book where you could read the poems Chinese migrants left in the walls of their detention centers as they awaited either entry into the US or deportation. This book taught me about common situations migrants from China faced. While Goh manages to include a sizeable array of voices, she failed to move beyond their outline and didn't really give any of the characters depth or personhood beyond their migratory circumstances. 1.8/5

Live Oak, With Moss by Walt Whitman (2019)

A gift from Nush. This book made me fall in love with Walt Whitman for real. The artistic accompaniments are perfect. The scholarly treatment of Whitman's queerness is generous and will save you decades of wondering. 5/5

Love at Gunpoint by nila northSun (2007)

northSun is my favorite poet and I'm terrified that she seems largely forgotten by the literary world. I encountered her by happenstance this year when researching Shoshone literature for a work project and have been mesmerized by her plainspoken poems. Forget the bombast, arrogance, and ambition of the literary establishment. Here's a poet whose voice is nimble and pointed. I laugh and cry to her poems. She changes the way I breathe. In this collection, she tackles surviving domestic violence, but also has poems about dancing in granny panties. I'm gonna go buy another book of hers and you should too. 5/5

The New Song of Silence by Anastasia Afanasieva (2022)

I found this zine in the National Humanities Conference in LA, November 2022. It’s the poem of a reputed Ukrainian poet who mainly wrote in Russian. Halfway through the poem, she abandons her mother tongue, Russian, and swears to never write in it anymore, electing Ukrainian instead. This powerful move is at the heart of a poem documenting the toll of warfare on her city. It’s breathtakingly powerful in its translation. 4/5  

Rain Scald by Tacey Atsitty (2018)

This collection is a feat. There's an authority and steady-eyed strength to the voice throughout. These poems might be a touch opaque here and there, but I'm confident these are my shortcomings as a reader. Use the notes on the back as you read. Do plenty of rereading. Several of these poems musically enchanted yet mystified me and later cracked open fiercely on rereading. Notably, this book appears to carry a marriage of Dine and Mormon ideologies and beliefs. In the notes, there's discussion of the "opportunity" Native children had to live with white Mormon families, as well as a reference to masturbation with the stodgy term "self-abuse." 4/5

The Salted Woman by Pauline Peters (2021)

Gifted to me by Nan Seymour, Pauline Peters’ short collection is appropriately lush, mythic, and sensual in its odes to nature and darkness. An African Canadian, Peters’ mystic interpretation of blackness and darkness in nature also serves as a sort of ontological thesis on the depths and genius of Blackness. Nature not only gives Peters access to her deeper wiser selves, but also connections to her ancestors, so this connection happens naturally, seamlessly. It is as obvious as it may be surprising for some. Here are some lines in particular that have stayed with me: “Night paints us with her blue-black ink / hides glaring errors lest we think / we are the sum of our mistakes. / No. We are all beautiful in the dark.” It’s almost as if in spiritual communion with night and nature, Peters imagines non-Black folks can approach a Blackness. This from “O Holy Night,” a poem that contrasts the whiteness of day with the luscious, peace of night.

Nature is at times romanticized in this collection, anthropomorphized as well. This is familiar territory for myth-making and making sense of nature. Peters wields it with the gush and gusto of a witchy grandmother. I trust her with her magic, even if another literary critic might sniff at the collection’s humility.  

Peters also invokes wakes in similar ways to Dr. Rebecca Hall in Wake: The Hidden History of Women-Led Slave Revolts, especially in “Guardians.” I imagine Peters’ poetry would make an excellent accompaniment to Sadiya Hartman’s prose in a discussion about Black spirituality, nature, history, and time. I strongly encourage this book for anyone interested in environmental literature, especially Black perspectives therein, Canadian literature, poetry, and spiritual literature.

Here’s a gorgeous line to end the review: “They say the gods never give you more than you can carry – I say the gods need help too.” 4.5/5  

Scorpionic Sun by Mohammed Khair-Eddine, trans Connor Bracken (2019)

A Moroccan writer of French poetry with leftist politics and an image heavy machine gun style. What else do you need to know? This poetry is disorienting, passionate, and lives in the gut and throat. You'll need to look up words, sometimes up to 4 to 8 times in a single poem. The poems are long, sometimes 16 pages and dive between prose and enjambments. I read some aloud for Nush and it brought out an exhausting but electric performance from me. Reading aloud helped me sink into the emotion and rhythm. Reading in my head sometimes felt like getting swallowed and spat out by a tide: fun as hell, even if a little painful, and the details got gobbled by the sea. The poem for Cesaire was gorgeous and fiery. This is overwritten in the best way and proud you don't need to understand everything 100% in your head to feel it burning in your heart. 4.5/5

Sink by Desiree Dellagiacomo

These poems spill and warp over pages like water. Skeptics of slam will be relieved by the solid skills on the page. Covering themes of suicide, growing up in a broke and at times violent family, the healing this book offers is priceless. Highlights include 13 ways of looking at a rapist and the viral My Thighs. 3.5/5

Small Bones, Little Eyes by nila northSun and Jim Sagel (1981)
I purchased this book as a salve to a bout of depression and frustration, as I’ve found that nila’s voice centers me in my love for literature and this world more than most anyone. At first, I was shy to read Jim Sagel in the same book, since I’m unfamiliar with his work and really just wanted to hang out with nila, but I was pleasantly surprised to find what a powerful pairing they are together. Here’s one thing I haven’t yet said about nila’s work that I think is part of what draws me to it: while other authors may dispel stereotypes or try to provide them with greater depth, nila engages stereotypes with love that doesn’t tiptoe. It’s a shame our drunks can’t even just be broken drunks and instead must carry the additional shame of being a stereotype, a burden on their own. There’s a love nila carries, allowing people to be what they are without doing a racial tap dance. There’s a love in nila I feel extended to me, to all of us. Some about Jim so he doesn’t feel shortchanged: he has incredible poetry about naming in this collection, gorgeous portraits of different rural and rez characters that just vibrate off the page. “chocolate atole” might be the best poem I’ve read this year. 5/5

SNAKE IN HER MOUTH by nila northSun (1997)

These poems feel hot and dry inside your mouth as the Nevada desert. Each written in a characteristically thin stanza or a few, the simplicity and directness of the diction is sharp as a cacti pine. One of my new favorite poets, especially among Native writers. She's Chippewa Shoshone. 6/5

Winged Insects by Joel Long (1999)

Joel Long is a legend in Utah, spoken of in adoring tones, and up until I started reading this collection, I had little understood why as I had only watched him read briefly once and from a prose manuscript. It was good, but hardly, worth the twinkle in the eyes of his admirers. Winged Insects more than justifies the adoration. The collection ranges from sensual poems about nature, elegies for lost loved ones, erotic poetry to fatherhood poems. Each fit together, narrated in a thoughtful voice, full of wonder and love for his surroundings. Soulful, lyric, and rigorously written, it’s no wonder Long is considered the friendly neighborhood poet genius throughout Utah. I’m looking forward to picking up more of his work. For fans of Ross Gay, Nan Seymour, and Jamaal May. 4.5/5

 

 

Baby / David Watters / 2016

Baby by David Watters (Monster House Press, 2016)

In Baby, the second chapbook of David Watters, dedicated to his son Liam, the poet tackles the complexities of single fatherhood in a plainspoken metaphors that are at once crystal clear and full of mystery—like water spilling from a rock. If the book feels as if it pulsates with warmth, as if its seam is made of blood and veins, that’s because it is. Off the page, Watters’ mark as a father transcends poetry and is written on his son. I have had the joy of experiencing Liam’s company on occasion at pizza shops or after poetry readings, where Liam and I sometimes tease and playfight one another. “Do you want to be a vampire or a werewolf?” I once asked, playfully baring my teeth and growling. Liam, four-years-old, responded with a sincerity astonishing for a child with such an active imagination: “I want to be human.” At an age where most children leap to embody the fantastical and the animal, Liam’s self-possession in that moment was strikingly rare. Among adults, such self-possession is probably rarer, except in brief moments, especially in our consumer culture, where we all seem to be hankering for one dream or another, where we are defined by what we have managed to possess. I know I rarely feel a similar self-possession. “I want to be a werewolf,” I told Liam, howling, and we proceeded to chase each other around the room, wild-eyed and giggly.

 

Liam’s response was fitting for the child of white Hoosier poet David Watters. In Baby, the poems bristle open with a love for life, an acceptance and gratitude for even the most devastating experiences life has to offer, a self-possession that is hard-earned and enviable for its ability to find beauty in the most difficult moments. Watters has managed to write a book of poems about his son, without a trace of sentimentalism, parenting clichés, or all-too-familiar fatherly advice. The opening stanza of the collection encapsulates these points well. It is written after the following anonymous epigraph: “The first cigarette in the morning / Is as good as it gets.” In response, Watters tells us,

                       

Baby, whoever wrote that line

                        Must have never felt

                        An early spring thunderstorm

                        In southern Indiana.

                        The way limestone can wake

                        With the taste of salt in its mouth

                        As the creeks and rivers rise

                        From their banks.      

                        Like so many ghosts speaking,

                        They upturn and spin limbs,

                        Car tires, dumpsters,

                        And yes, even backhoes

                        Can be swept away

                        In the sudden joy and rush

                        Of water.

 

If you’ve ever been to Indiana, then you know its thunderstorms can be frightening. Lightning cracks and trembles buildings. The rain shrieks in the streets. Sometimes, tornado sirens go off, so you decide to huddle in your bathtub with candles lit, half-annoyed, half-amused, with a dash of fear pulsating through the ritual. Yet this stanza transforms the at times terrifying rain with an ecstatic and ravishing joy. The agency given to the water, rising and upturning and speaking like ghosts, gives this scene a mythic quality, reminiscent of the Popol Vuh. The thunderstorm, the river are a force that overthrow human waste and reclaims the land in rebirth. And Watters offers us all of this magic in sleek, lucid lines comprised of language that is richly complex yet could be understood by a child.

 

Throughout the collection, Watters’ offers a complex window into fatherhood, moving beyond both pain and joy to uncover emotions we don’t even have words for yet. In “The Difference,” Watters writes,

 

There have been a handful of times

I have felt like a kidnapper,

So that tonight Baby, I’m afraid someone

May call the cops on me.

Imagine me trying to explain,

That yes, I am the father,

Everything is alright,

You’re just tired. 

 

I see a buck with half his face

Torn off. Jawbone and teeth.

He’s exposed himself enough

For all the world to look and see.

                       

                        I think, maybe, I should call the cops

That somebody ought to put him

Out of his misery, but just before

I reach for my phone I realize

I can’t tell the difference between us

So instead, I follow him to a place

I don’t yet know

.

The buck—vulnerable, exposed, and somehow still living—is juxtaposed against the writer himself, an exhausted father, coping with what some might call an imposter syndrome that makes him feel like a kidnapper. Both are vulnerable and exposed.  Both can be said to be miserable. Here, however, Watters rejects the desire to surrender to misery to follow the buck elsewhere, like in those moments where you are so tired, so overwhelmed, everything, even your weariness, vanishes. If any of the poems in Baby can be called an ars poetica for the collection, it is this one, where the writer willingly follows the image, the emotion to take us to a place yet to be named.    

 

In “War Games,” Watters depicts the difficulty of trying to raise a child in a growlingly violent world. In an attempt to get Liam to stop playing with toy guns, Watters uses a litany to lament the destruction of entire communities and ancient monuments razed by recent acts of war. This litany is both tragic and self-indulgent. Tragic because it describes with moving lyricism the many monuments and religious wonders destroyed, a loss almost impossible to communicate to a child. Self-indulgent because it attempts to place the weight of the world’s ills on a child’s shoulders. In the last stanza, Watters describes how Liam “turns, / points his thumb and small finger / At my head, smiles, / Says, bang, you’re dead.” This moment reads as both a betrayal and not. Betrayal because the poet must confront the violence in the defiant child, who will ultimately evolve into the person he chooses to be, regardless of the wishes of the father. At the same time, it’s not at all betrayal because that’s way too heavy of a word to use on a kid who is just playing a game. Here, Liam offers us another lesson in coping with the madness of the world: to get out of our heads and be present for one another, for the humor and playfulness we have to offer.

 

I want to end this book review with a short anecdote. The day after Trump’s election, I taught a class on political hip hop alongside Adrian Matejka to a class of mostly white students in Indiana. It was an exhausting class. Everyone in the room realized that the migrants who Immortal Technique and Blue Scholars were fighting to humanize would soon again be under attack by a racist administration. Afterwards, Matejka invited me to his office to show me pictures of a children’s book he is working on. For more than an hour, he told me about his process, sharing pictures from his model storybooks, as we discussed the importance and the scarcity of depictions of brown and black fathers playing with their children in literature. In a time of panic and despair, Matejka slowed me down to remind me of the gifts of wonder and childhood, the relationships and moments that will matter most to us, and which we must fight to keep sacred in our lives. And with this stumbling conclusion, I want to leave readers with Baby. Baby is not the book of poetry that will redefine our nation; it is not the book that will burn the flag or outmode contemporary styles and forms. But it is the one that will remind us of the greatest joys and wonders of being human; it will hold your hand, remind you to pause, and make you cry hallelujah for your life. Baby is a book we desperately need.

sad girl poems / Christopher Soto / 2016

 sad girl poems (Sibling Rivalry Press, 2016) by Christopher Soto

I’ve read a ton of gorgeous poems I have quickly forgotten.[wp1]  Christopher “Loma” Soto’s poems can at times be rough, blunt, and formally chaotic, but it’s near impossible to forget a poem by Loma. Take “Home,” for example, the first poem off Loma’s chapbook, Sad Girl Poems (Sibling Rivalry, 2016). “Home” staggers under the formal restraints of the villanelle, barely following the rules of repetition and abandoning the rhymes. It breaks lines on words like “the” and “my,” which are often considered weaker, and repeats the phrase “I’m crying,” which puts the poem at risk of being read as sentimental. In short, many readers could consider this poem a bad villanelle. [wp2] But it’s a much more urgent and touching poem than almost all the villanelles I have read. Sad Girl Poems makes me never want to write a “good” poem again. Better write poems with sloppy and quivering bravery, then poems that would shrink into the dust without their overwritten imagery and formal pyrotechnics. In “Home,” the difficulty of the language to conform to formal expectations of the villanelle mirrors the way the queer homeless speaker staggers under the weight of the police state. “I’m broken like a wishbone,” the speaker tells us, and the same can be said of the form: it’s “broken like a wishbone,” which is to say violently.[1] By whom? Perhaps by the speaker themself, whose struggle to survive leaves them with broken dreams. More likely by the police, the reader, and anyone who reads the speaker as “criminal” and as something (definitely not as someone) that needs correcting. This first poem serves as a warning to all narrow-minded readers: Loma is a radical poet who will not conform the queer homeless experience to fit your limited formal and political expectations.

And thank god Loma does not conform. In the thirty-nine short pages of Sad Girl Poems, Loma narrates the story of a queer speaker who experiences homelessness and domestic violence all while struggling to come to terms with the suicide of their first lover, Rory. Rory haunts this chapbook, interrupting the speaker and forcing them to wrestle with their memory. The poet faces these challenges while swimming against the current of mainstream poetics, formally and politically. As a writer of color, I am fascinated by the way other writers of color maneuver themselves around their white audiences.[2] Loma confronts similar challenges in Sad Girl Poems head-on by tackling the white audience problem in the preface. “I won’t write narrative poems for white people,” Loma tells us. “I WON’T ALLOW MY NARRATIVE, MY HURT, MY SADNESS, & MY LIFE TO BE BOUGHT, SOLD, CONSUMED, & SHAT OUT (& never actually addressed).” As many writers of color know, that’s a hard standard to meet, maybe even impossible, but Loma does an amazing job counterattacking these problematic readers by challenging them before they even read the first poem and by asking all readers to donate to Ali Forney Center[3] and Black & Pink[4]. Please don’t bother reading the rest of this book review unless you’ve followed those links and given a piece of your extra cash to these very necessary organizations. 

Understanding Loma’s insistence on an active—even an activist—reading of their work is essential for understanding the poetics and the narrative arc of Sad Girl Poems. “I always wanted to be a sad white girl,” Loma laments in the opening sentence. They explain, they have always wanted a sadness people would mobilize for. A sadness worth an Amber alert. A sadness worth “a 1000 ships launched because we are missed”.[5] The sadness of “the sad girl”, a trope of resistance that usually only cis-white woman have access to. In Sad Girl Poems, Loma expands that trope to include people like them: Latinx (by way of El Salvador and Puerto Rico), gender non-conforming, queer, and much more. Loma does not write a sentimental sadness, but a sadness that becomes an unshakeable part of you and leaves you with no other choice but to fight for your life. Loma invites the activist reader to transform and embody this sadness, much the same way Rory comes to embody it. Loma tells us,

That night, after my father smashed / the television glass with his baseball / bat, I met Rory at the park…he felt my bruises as they became / a part of him.

 

Only in this way—by taking in the bruises of queer and homeless communities—can the reader stand in true solidarity with Loma.

            This centering of sadness, however, does not mean Loma provides an emotional landscape of queer and homeless life without any complexity. Throughout Sad Girl Poems, there are choking moments of happiness and gratitude, tenderness and tenacity. These moments are shattered and bruised, taken and incomplete, but they keep resurrecting, if briefly. Even in the bleakest moments, there is a memory, the ghost of a lover, a small joy haunting these poems. In “Those Sundays,” Loma tells us how Rory

watched me / undress & run through the ticking / sprinklers]. I fell beside him then. / beneath the maple tree. / & he saw my goosebumps from the cold.

 

What is this passage if not a moment of unabashed liberty and intimacy, a shard of joy? In “Crush a Pearl [Its Powder],” They continue,

We were so alive. My heart // a red cardinal // resting between two / Rib cages. Its wings expanding. Rory—

Here is a remix of a familiar trope, the caged bird that sings. There is a happiness, a liveliness here, imprisoned but still regaining its strength, resting, still eager to fly. Even in the last poem, “The Hatred of Happiness,” Loma tells us,

broken-boys can’t / make a proper home. Just listen to my chest. / One-thousand lovers are stuck inside me / Beating—thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.

Here, the speaker embodies the sadness of the broken-boys; they are his heart, beating. Loma imagines the speaker’s heart as the gay ghetto of heaven, a final home and resting place. There is more than just sadness in these lines: there is love, tenderness, and a small piece of salvation for all broken-boys—whose voices were silenced in life, in the trope of “the sad girl,” but given life here, in Loma’s chest, and maybe, in the reader’s as well. This decentering of happiness does not abandon happiness and gratitude altogether, but instead refocuses on sadness and empathy as a way of driving readers to awaken themselves to the pain of others and act.

            Loma asks their readers to act because they know poetry can only do so much to heal us, can only do so much to liberate us. In “Ars Poetica,” Loma mourns their dead lover Rory while confessing “this is such a useless fucking poem.”  They write these heart-wrenching, beautiful lines about Rory and about ultimately poetry—“I want everything to have a purpose— / the beak, the bones, the baby blue / vodka veins”—only to admit that “they mean nothing to me.” They spend a whole chapbook struggling through the death of Rory only to realize all the poems “are about me.” Here, like everywhere,[6] Loma gets especially vulnerable, acknowledging the limitations of art, an honest and suffocating move. Loma confesses poetry will not make Rory come back; hell, it might not even heal us. But poetry still enables us to awaken to the struggle of others, and in that way, it pushes the poet and reader forward to fight and heal in other ways—politically and personally. This move is one that aligns Loma’s work with poets from the Black Arts Movement and La Generación Comprometida, who understand a true political poetics must come with social justice activism in order to maintain its integrity.

            For those who don’t know the game, La Generación Comprometida was a political arts movement in El Salvador during the 1950s. The movement’s most iconic figure is Roque Dalton, a poet and guerrillero who died in a military conflict.[7] The only other thing I’ll say about him here is that he once was in jail, scheduled for execution because of his revolutionary work, and after praying to God in a moment of desperation, an earthquake freed him from the prison[8]—which is important because it shows Salvi poets are straight-up prophetic. I mention all of this because one of the most impressive things about Sad Girl Poems is how it interacts with Dalton’s work and what it means for Salvadoran poetics in the diaspora.[9] Of all the Salvi poets writing in English right now, Loma’s work feels most charged with the spirit of Roque Dalton, both in style and in activism: their writing shares a declarative style, a political surrealism, and an insistence on centering politics. Loma has carried on Dalton’s revolutionary ethic in literary communities by leading the UndocuPoets campaign, starting a literary journal for queer poets of color called Nepantla, and touring to end queer youth homelessness. Loma’s work is fighting to shake awake the literary world right now and foretells what powerful transformations can take place in our communities if only more Salvis are passed the mic. [wp3] 

On the page, Loma engages these Salvadoran poetics explicitly by riffing off of Dalton’s lines in a minor key. In “Myself When I’m Real,” the most playful and emotionally complex poem in the chapbook, Loma writes,

                        How dumb // we must have been—

 

                        To hold each other so frailly.

                        To hold anything at all—

 

The blue landscape of January days.

The taste of pan dulce—

 

“The blue landscape of January days” is a line Loma lifts and translates from Roque Dalton’s most iconic poem “Como tú” (in English, “Like You”).[10] “Como tú” can be read as the ars poetica not only of Dalton but La Generación Comprometida and many other circles of political poetry.[11] In “Como tú,” Dalton democratizes poetry by declaring poetry, like bread, is for everyone; “the blue landscape of January days” serves to connect the reader and poet through something they share in common: their enjoyment of love, life, and nature. In “Myself When I’m Real,” Loma revises this line by declaring the happiness derived from these January days “dumb.” This isn’t a dismissal of Dalton’s poetics though. In the same poem, Loma still tells us, “You’re the reason I live…/ You stumbled into me / [Again & again]”. Here, the “you” is either the lover or the reader, who Loma continues to hold on to, through thick and thin, no matter how dumb it is. This poem is tragic for the way it grapples with loss yet remains triumphant for the way the “you” and the speaker continually stumble into one another, refusing to let go. In Sad Girl Poems, the speaker may be heartbroken, homeless, battered, and bruised but they remain undefeated, possessing a chilling amount of grit and tenacity.

 Which brings me to the last poem, a poem that brutally ties together many of the themes we’ve been wrestling with so far. I have yet to read a collection whose last poem sucker-punched me as hard as Loma’s “The Hatred of Happiness”. After page after page of breathtaking vulnerability, after showing us their bruises and allowing us to take them on as our own, after we have fallen in love with Loma and all their tragicomedic wit and beauty, Loma tells us,

            …I’m drawing the curtains

           

            & asking you to leave. [I don’t want any visitors].

                        I don’t want you to love me. My porch

            lights are turned off. My doorbell won’t be

           

            answered. Do you understand?!

                                    If I had an ounce of happiness, or

            A bag of sugar, to give you—I would.

 

            But all I own are these little lips.

                        They kiss, then close [like the lid on

            A casket]. Please, let me die alone. 

 

After seeing the speaker struggle and fight so much, I wanted so badly for them to find redemption, a fulfillment that spits in the face of the world that has constantly tried to annihilate them. But Loma doesn’t let the reader go there with them. This is the most important move Sad Girl Poems makes. It doesn’t give the reader the satisfaction of having completed a masterful chapbook by a brilliant poet and finding in it hope and redemption. Instead, it pushes the reader away from the speaker and outside of the text to renegotiate their relationships to queer and homeless communities. It leaves us aching with this newfound pain and understanding. It leaves us ready to act.

This ending can be read as a suicide, where the speaker abandons the world that failed to love them and chooses to die. In this naturalistic ending, where the speaker is at the mercy of oppressive forces, the speaker closes their lips like a casket, silencing their voice, and kills themself, a fate far too many queer folk are forced to choose.

There are other readings of this ending, however; for those familiar with Dalton’s poetry, “Hatred of Happiness” reads like a riff of “Alta Hora De La Noche”, where Dalton asks his admirers to please not repeat his name after his death.[12] I have no doubt Dalton knew he was most likely going to die in the struggle for revolution. In this poem, he resists the urges of his readers to mythologize his life. “Don’t let your lips discover / my eleven letters,” Dalton asks us. “I’m sleepy, I loved, I have earned the silence.” Dalton like Loma asks the reader not to love him, to let him die alone. This move is important because it motivates the reader to act, rather than mourn or idolize the dead. How many people do you know that idolize MLK or Malcolm X but haven’t organized anything in their communities themselves? How many academics and writers do you know that spend their lives studying revolutionaries without bringing their work into their communities? Dalton and Loma don’t need your love, they need you to do the work. They need you to donate your money to important causes. They need you to fight homophobia and white supremacy in your communities. They need you to call out and transform institutions that oppress us. Without this pushing away, the poet risks having their readers finding themselves content with just reading something political and radical, rather than doing the work.

            Lastly, a careful reader will observe that Loma’s words in this last poem echo the words of the “homeless” woman in the penultimate poem “Home [Chaos Theory]” almost verbatim. “Home” is such a fraught concept in Sad Girl Poems: it is the site of domestic abuse, homophobia, and transphobia; it is the intimacy and warmth of Rory’s car; it is a gay ghetto; it is in Loma’s heart. In “Home [Chaos Theory]”, Loma deconstructs the meaning of home. One of its most powerful moments is when a police officer tells a “homeless” woman to move from her neighborhood and she tells him:

                                                                                                THIS IS MY HOME!

 

I HAVE LIVED HERE FOR OVER TWENTY YEARS.

                                                                                    I WILL NOT MOVE!!!

                       

I’M GOING TO DIE HERE. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME DIE!!!![13]

 

Rather than being a suicide, Loma’s last poem can be read as an echo of this woman’s incredible resistance. Sad Girl Poems ends on Loma’s last stand, holding down the home they’ve created for themself, refusing to submit to the violence of the police officer or the reader, withholding from the reader the heart of a soul too sacred, too powerful for the rest of the world see.

[1] Interestingly, the whole snapping a wishbone tradition is a rather violent one with a history of colonialism. Etruscans used to pet wishbones while making wishes. After they were colonized by the Romans, the Romans stole the tradition and started fighting over the wishbones and snapping them, because that’s just what warmongers naturally tend to do apparently. For more, click here: http://www.republicofyoublog.com/fashion/origin-of-the-wishbone-tradition/

[2] Click here to read about review about how Natalie Scenters-Zapico deals with the white audience problem here: https://indianareview.org/2015/12/micro-review-natalie-scenters-zapicos-the-verging-cities/

[3] Donate here: https://aliforneycenter.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donate.general

[4] Donate here: https://secure.actblue.com/contribute/page/blackandpink

[5] This line is taken from “not an elegy for mike brown” by Danez Smith, a fellow queer POC poet. In this poem, Smith also draws attention to the way people react to POC pain versus white girl pain in the lines: “think: once, a white girl / was kidnapped & that’s the Trojan war. / later, up the block, Troy got shot / & that was Tuesday.” Click here for the complete poem:  http://www.splitthisrock.org/poetry-database/poem/not-an-elegy-for-mike-brown

 

[6] Except the last poem. We’ll talk more on that later.

[7] For more on Roque Dalton, click here: https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poet/roque-dalton

[8] Read Ernesto Cardenal’s description of the events here: http://www.uhmc.sunysb.edu/surgery/car-dalt.html

[9] This acknowledgement of Loma’s work isn’t intended to dismiss or minimize the work of other Salvi poets. Javier Zamora was a co-founder of the UndocuPoets campaign and Yesika Salgado is a huge voice in the body positivity and feminist scenes. Leticia Liñares-Hernandez’s entire professional and artistic repertoire is based on serving POC communities. Jose B. Gonzalez is well-known for his work building bridges to higher education for Latinos. Each of these poets write amazing poems and do amazing work. My point here is more of a question of style.  

[10] For the complete poem in English and Spanish, click here: http://www.telesurtv.net/english/analysis/Roque-Dalton---a-Great-of-Latin-American-Poetry-20150511-0031.html

[11] In fact, Martín Espada lifts another line from the poem for the title of an anthology of mostly Latin American and Latinx political poetry, Poetry Like Bread: Poets of the Political Imagination from Curbstone Press.

[12] I have no idea whether Loma is aware of “Alta Hora De La Noche”, but that’s irrelevant. Dalton and Loma’s politics coincide enough that this parallel could have happened naturally. Reader, do yourself a favor and check out this kick-ass poem: http://bombmagazine.org/article/1121/three-poems

[13] I omitted parts of this quotation for concision in my argument. Please buy Sad Girl Poems and read the poem without my adulterations.

 [wp1]The intro makes less sense to me without this line.

 [wp2]I think this clarifies what I am trying to say, but I’m worried about it being read as harsh or insensitive. In the poem, the first lines of the poem the speaker is sucking dick for rent. What I am trying to do is set up a defense for this poem against readers who would critique its bluntness. Is that working? Or am I merely replicating the problematic reading?

 [wp3]I’m invested in keeping this for contextual reasons and visibility reasons. The history of Latinx/Latin American poetry, especially Central American, gets short-changed a lot. We gotta take advantage of spaces we are given to tell our stories. Plus, there’s only so much of it I can summarize before the context loses its meaning.

Unaccompanied / Javier Zamora / 2017

Unaccompanied (Copper Canyon Press, 2017) by Javier Zamora

On Tuesday, September 5th, 2017, Copper Canyon Press released Unaccompanied, Javier Zamora’s long-awaited first full-length collection of poetry. Unaccompanied chronicles Zamora’s journey to the US from El Salvador alone as a nine-year-old and his family’s experience with war and migration. On the exact same day, Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced the elimination of the DACA program, an executive order that gave 800,000 young undocumented immigrants like Zamora the ability to work and drive legally and live with a less imminent fear of deportation. United We Dream, a national youth-led immigrants’ rights organization, has framed the elimination of DACA as a plan for mass deportation.

I am writing this review in between texting two undocumented students worried about losing over 10k worth of scholarships through no fault of their own. I am writing this review after returning from El Salvador for the first time in five years, a gigantic privilege that has put my finger on the pulse of many of the traumas still afflicting my family. I cannot imagine the confusing concoction of emotion Zamora may have felt that Tuesday—the culmination and celebration of years’ worth of work put into his collection of poetry and the jarring reminder that there is a team of powerful white supremacists constantly scheming to make life more humiliating and insufferable for immigrants in this country. The alignment of the publication of Unaccompanied and the elimination of DACA is so fucked up it feels divine. There could not be a clearer sign from God that Javier Zamora is the poet chosen to do this work of taking immigrant narratives back from the hands of white supremacists. Understand, Zamora is one of a small handful of Salvadoran writers represented in US literary circles. He is the only major undocumented Salvadoran poet in the United States.            

“Today, this country / chose its first black president,” the poet states in “To Abuelita Neli,” the first poem in Unaccompanied. “Maybe he changes things.” In the era of Trump, it is impossible to utter those words without an overwhelming sense of futility. We all already know how this collection ends: “nothing has changed,” he tells us. He didn’t get papers, Obama deported more immigrants than any other president in history, and gangsters and police officers still blow one another’s brains out like birthday candles on the streets of Salvador.

 Yet I would be terribly amiss to declare the tone of this collection fatalistic. Perhaps the spirit of Unaccompanied is best encapsulated by the poem printed on the back of the collection, “Let Me Try Again”: “I could bore you with the sunset, the way water tasted / after so many days without it,” Zamora tells us in the voice of someone who has heard this story, who has told this story too many times. Gone are any attempts to sentimentalize the experiences of immigrants as something extraordinary. Gone are any attempts to dissect the complexity of the experience into something consumable for citizens, into something legislators can politicize, into anything with a falsely happy ending to comfort those unwilling to look truth in the eye.

The best word I have to describe the emotional relentlessness of the collection, the unwillingness of its characters to surrender against the most absurd odds is faith—a word wholly inadequate and inappropriate for its religious baggage and sentimentalism. But we need a word for those who risk everything, who almost die attempting to cross the border numerous times, yet “try again / and again, / like everyone does.” We need a word for the fathers who “still [carry] unopened water bottles,” for the tias who keep “looking at stranger’s left feet / to see if the big toe and the two next to that are missing” in the infinite, in the infinitesimal chance they find their long-lost brother, disappeared by the military decades past. This faith need not come with romanticized illusions of what could be; it need not come with dramatic posturing in the face of oppression. It merely comes with the understanding that come what may, our communities will keep trudging forward, will keep trying, like we always have. As Hanif Abdurraqib would say, they can’t kill us until they kill us.

            “To Abuelita Neli” brings to focus a question I hope everyone brings with them as they enter poetry collections, namely “who is this written for?” The first poems of a collection set the tone and expectations for the rest of the book, and in “To Abuelita Neli,” Zamora gives the reader the uncanny feeling of eavesdropping on someone else’s family business, in the College Dropout sense of the word. As the Acknowledgments at the end of the book and in Spanish make clear, Unaccompanied is primarily intended for Zamora’s family. Months ago, Zamora confided to me and others that now that the book is out there, he is unsure how comfortable he is sharing such intimate experiences with certain audiences, and I understand what he means. Such experiences are usually only shared behind closed doors. There’s the risk of exposing yourself to those who may be consuming your experience voyeuristically, who see you at most as an artistic object and not a human being, especially as a minoritized writer.

“To Abuelita Neli,” on the other hand, is paralleled a few pages later with the one and only other direct address poem in Unaccompanied, this time “To the President Elect.” Unaccompanied inevitably hovers somewhere within the complicated space between the private and the political. Elsewhere, Zamora tells us, “Whatever you do, / don’t judge my home,” keeping one eye on those who would misread his work, on those who would reduce El Salvador to nothing but a war-torn third-world ghetto. Zamora wraps up “To Abuelita Neli” in one of the boldest ways possible, immediately putting his doubters in their place in the closing lines, where he states,

 

my old friends think that now I’m from some town

between this bay and our estero. And that I’m a coconut:  

brown on the outside, white inside. Abuelita, please  

forgive me, but tell them, they don’t know shit.

 

Like his old friends, many of Zamora’s readers don’t know shit—about El Salvador, about what it means to be undocumented, about what it meant for him to be undocumented. May everyone enter Unaccompanied with the utmost care, may everyone enter ready to listen, and when necessary, to do their homework.

            Javier Zamora navigates his audiences expertly, strategically putting up barriers against outsiders, while at the same time sharing some of the most intimate moments of his life. In the third poem of the collection, “from The Book I Made with a Counselor the First Week of School,” Zamora’s parents tell him, “always look gringos in the eyes” and “never tell them everything, but smile, always smile” (8). Stylistically, this collection will always look you in the eye. It will craft a scene for you in careful, plainspoken language, but it will not spell out its truth for you. If you are unaware of the intimate details of migration or of El Salvador’s history and culture, there are certain passages that might take a little research to unpack.

Read “Cassette Tapes,” for example, a poem with an A side and a B side that >>’s forward and <<’s back in a timeline of Zamora’s migration experience and explores the ways distance has strained relationships with family. In the poem, the poet narrates his experiences in a straightforward, easy-to-access fashion: he looks you in the eye. The form of the poem, however, probably doesn’t mean much to you unless you know that family members in the United States sent cassette tapes to their loved ones back in El Salvador. Zamora explains it best himself in an interview with Granta.

The truth is, I don’t know what it would mean to read Unaccompanied as a reader who does not have any undocumented family. My own family history complicates my reading. Certain poems nuzzle up to me fondly, others attack me. For me, the form of “Cassette Tapes” invokes the video tape Mama made for Abuelita when we were children. Mama wore her best clothes, and we set up the camera for her, so Abuela could see how well she was doing, so she could simply see her after almost a decade of distance between them. Now that Abuela is dead, this tape is one of the few mementos we have of our relationship with my Abuela. Despite the trauma in the poem, the form evokes longing and warmth.

The fourth section of the last poem, “June 10, 1999,” named after the date Zamora arrived to the United States is a poem I cannot touch without the fire of my own family baggage coming to get me. In it, Zamora confronts his parents for not knowing how difficult his migration to the United States would be.

 

she says Coyote said,  

I’ll carry him to your front door myself Pati

she didn’t know 110 degrees  

when like Colorado River toads

we slid under bushes.

 

Zamora forgives his mother in the last lines of this section, saying, “you couldn’t have known this would happen / Mom / you couldn’t have / no es su culpa / no lo es.” After my first time reading this poem, I was ripped open with rage. “You should have known!” I cried from the hurt, protective part of my psyche. “You should never send across a child without an older family member to protect them,” I cried helplessly, knowing full-well crossing the border is always a crapshoot, how much you suffer has barely anything to do with how much money you spend or how “trusted” the coyote is. Some pay thousands more and get robbed. Some pay thousands less and get across with few issues. Here, I put Unaccompanied down and did the complicated work of processing and forgiving. Immigrant families so often have only the worst options to choose from, yet we still harbor so much blame, guilt, and bitterness towards those who did everything they could to love us right.   

And this is the most important work Zamora’s collection makes possible: his poems bring to light and give voice to the experiences of Central American immigrants too often kept silenced in the shadows. By finding the language to describe the hardships of the Salvadoran Civil War, the nightmares of migration that seem to plague all Salvadorans, Zamora has begun the process of healing deep emotional scars. The barbwire crosshatched across our souls. The thirst no water could calm. We can begin to process what it means to grow up in a family shaped by war. We can begin to understand the reasons our parents migrated North. We can begin to forgive our family for all ways they have failed us. And so, begin again.

Rummage / Ife-Chudeni O. Aputa / 2017

Rummage (Little A, 2017) by Ife-Chudeni O. Aputa

“Brave” is a word commonly overused when describing contemporary poetry, but in regards to Ife-Chudeni A. Oputa’s debut collection Rummage, “brave” is an understatement. Rummage is not a book of easy answers. “For me, the poem is not for a space to make arguments or come to definitive answers or full stops,” Oputa told Pen America in a 2017 interview. “For me, the poem is a space for questioning, exploration, and sitting with the unknown.” True to her word, Oputa’s explorations of desire, heartbreak, and trauma do not shy away from the truth for the sake of the speaker or the reader. Rummage challenges readers to create space for a speaker who has wrestled with violence and has not always left the mat blameless.

But in this ugliness, Oputa continually finds grace. “Ode to Shame” and “Kwansaba for my Mother” are particularly stunning for their ability to draw strength and wisdom from some of the speaker’s most debilitating moments. Both the ode and the kwansaba are poems of praise, and in both cases, emerge from events many do not find survivable, much less praiseworthy. In “Ode to Shame,” the speaker asks Shame for forgiveness for all the harm she’s done in its name.

I wanted

to be a weapon, a forest, a city that burns 

one hundred degrees and more

and never turns to ash. (4)

 

These lines precisely describe the agony of shame and the hunger for self-punishment and vengeance that come with it. In “Ode to Shame,” shame may not be completely expelled or overcome, but by acknowledging the ways we misuse shame to hurt ourselves and others and by refusing to continue to do so, its harm is limited and its lessons are accepted. As the first poem in Rummage, “Ode to Shame” sets up the collection as one ready to work through whatever shame has to offer without letting it consume the speaker.

Sometimes this shame is relinquished, sometime it sits fierce but surmountable at the bottom of the page, sometimes it passes, and other times, it is bonding. A kwansaba is an African American form that celebrates family written in seven lines with seven words each where no word exceeds seven letters. In “Kwansaba for my Mother,” for example, Oputa describes a moment where the mother’s body is violated in front of the speaker. The title of the poem sets us up to expect a warm, heartfelt poem about the mother and the body of the poem reverses those expectations and asks the reader, what does it mean to try to find meaning in these moments of harm? If read as a traditional kwansaba—that is, if we attempt to read the poem in search of something to praise or be grateful for—the title would seem to exult the mother for her strength to overcome the harrowing ordeal, and likewise, the last line would seem to celebrate the mother and the speaker for their joint survival. “My heart glows dark with our silence,” the speaker tells us (emphasis mine, 9). The silence here seems to bond the speaker and mother, a secret kept and disclosed with care, a heart that witnesses and burns heavy with its empathy. For many communities of survivors, silence and isolation are shared experiences, ones that Oputa masterfully uses to build spaces of sharing and understanding. Oputa’s work honors the sacrifices and losses too often kept silenced for survival, and in doing so, she makes the celebration of survival possible.

Oputa’s kwansaba is in direct conversation with one of the greatest contemporary poets to ever touch the pen: Lucille Clifton. In Clifton’s tenth collection, Mercy, the title poem discusses another sexual assault in terms of mercy, gratitude, and fury with a form as compact as a kwansaba. Oputa’s kwansaba asks us as many difficult questions as Clifton’s short poem. For Oputa to gift the reader a poem with the concision, the precision, and the brutal wisdom of Clifton’s “Mercy” in their debut collection is a testament of her poetic prowess and promise.  

The measure of any collection of poetry is its ability to give words to the unsayable. In Rummage, different silences haunt the collection like a web. As if in perfect symmetry, the only other word that seems to appear as frequently as “silence” is “mouth.” Throughout Rummage, the speaker’s mouth violates and is violated. It is the place in which a group of bullies can “disappear” to escape punishment (11). And it is also the vehicle through which some of the power of these violations can be undone. Oputa’s caliber as a poet is proven by her ability to confront these silences and siding with the truth, no matter how harrowing.

If to “rummage” means to make a clumsy search through a subject, Oputa’s collection is so carefully knitted it undercuts the title. Each of its sections are tightly focused, weaving layers of meaning that make the poems remain fresh with each new read. And as if Oputa’s lush language wasn’t enough to hypnotize any reader, the collection also features two long poems (including one cutthroat contrapuntal and something I want to call a quadruple sestina) which could kick the legs out from beneath even the most seasoned poets.

The word “rummage” appears only once throughout the collection: In “Portrait of Memory with Shadow,” the speaker is a collective of seven-year-old girls who take turns straddling and kissing a smaller and reluctant seven-year-old boy, hidden from his mother: “He learned obedience swiftly, / parted his lips and let us rummage” (11). The title of the collection thereby directs us to one of the speaker’s most searing moments of shame and references the way love and sexuality warp throughout the collection.

The second poem of the collection, “We are sitting around discussing our shame,” features another haunting confession of youthful sexual trespass. In this way, Rummage does not feign to be something it is not. After the cathartic “Ode to Shame,” where the speaker provides the reader with a healthier approach to shame, the mettle of this approach is put to the test. By the second poem, you know what sort of collection you are stepping into: a collection brave enough to present shameful acts for discussion in an attempt to overcome them.

Both “Portrait of Memory with Shadow’ and “We are sitting around discussing our shame” fill me with fear. I fear for those harmed by similar violences, and also, I fear for the speaker. Through experience and conversation, I know moments of maladroit sexuality in childhood are not unusual, but at a time where there’s a general expectation for narratives to be ethically seamless, I fear these confessions will be shouted back down into silence, where they will fester and go unaddressed. For me, these two poems were healing, if only for the reminder that I’m not alone in being forced to muddle through similar shades of violence throughout childhood.  

I want to live in a world where the forms of shame discussed in Rummage are not silenced, where the confessions of Oputa’s speaker can be met with something other than social death. Throughout the collection, the arc of each gut-dropping section resolves with a form of community, a form of self-knowledge, or another form of care, where the isolation of shame is vanquished, where vulnerability is rewarded with a certain kind of peace. Search and the diligent reader of Rummage will find a “version of you not as loneliness, but better—… a new myth all your own” (53).

After spending three days in the hospital after almost attempting suicide, I did not expect to ever find a piece of writing that could gracefully encompass the extent of the shame and heartache I felt and continue to feel because of my own traumas. Sometime in February, I opened the collection once again on the bus and became so absorbed not only did I miss my stop, by the time I looked up the bus had completed its route and I was back at home again, the book of poems trembling in my hands. In March, I learned one of my most important friends had killed herself. A victim of many of the same violences described in Rummage, I wish I could have shared the collection with her to offer her a small piece of the relief and salvation Rummage gave me. Thank you, Oputa, for giving me a collection to help me work my way through my own pain and forgiveness. Rummage has been my balm, my salve, a buoy for when the storm threatens to drown me.

The Secret Room: A String Quartet / Kazim Ali / 2017

The Secret Room: A String Quartet (Kaya Press, 2017) by Kazim Ali.

 

Presented as a novel written as a musical score for a string quartet, The Secret Room by Kazim Ali follows four characters as they navigate a numbing onslaught of longing and frost, death and red lights. Each story is told simultaneously, as if each voice were a different instrument on a musical score. If read as a traditional novel, the reader will alternate between two or more voices in most of the sections. Part contrapuntal, part free-form lyric narrative, the novel may not always read seamlessly in a traditional front-to-back manner, but the poetic connections and tensions make each page erupt with meanings and emotional nuances. The Secret Room is a book I revel returning to because of the deftness with which Ali exploits the potential of this one-of-a-kind form.

Take this excerpt from the introductory section of the novel, for example, aptly titled “theme.” The first voice and protagonist of Ali’s novel-in-verse is Sonia Chang. Sonia is a concert violinist, one of those majestically disciplined people who practices for hours, lost in darkening rooms, swallowed within an intimacy unknown to an unfortunate majority of us. Here, Ali provides a glimpse into her devoted practice. The rewards of her dedicated meditation are described in language that evokes both the spiritual and erotic, in the Platonic and carnal senses. If we read Chang’s voice in isolation, it reads like this:

 

She has never felt in her life / this way: / when music fills her / she feels lost. / And filled. / Remember the temple-pools. / She’s adrift now / halfway between sleep and the sound of ocean. / How can she open her self to the sky— / It’s a delirium, she thinks. / It’s a sort of fever (19-20)

 

On the page, however, Chang’s story is intertwined with the stories of three other characters, as in this image of page 19. Positioned as the opening notes of Ali’s string quartet, the quoted description of Sonia’s practice serves as a sort of ars poetica to The Secret Room’s biochemistry. Like much music, Ali’s The Secret Room has the power to make you feel lost and full at the same time. Voices interlock and slip away deliriously. Even when you cannot outline the exact shape of the narrative’s geometry, you will feel it. It’s not that Ali’s string quartet lacks structure or obscures itself through imprecision. Each narrative is told clearly on an individual level and combine to create one unified voice. Rather, the experience of shifting from voice-to-voice so swept me away in the swell and tide of the music that the traditional expectations of linear forms and plotlines became subordinate to the demands of lyric and prayer.

I realize this image in isolation can make the novel seem labyrinthine. I confess, I flipped through the first twenty pages of the introductory “theme” five times over: four times following one of the four protagonists in isolation and a final time reading them all together. If this sounds tedious, it wasn’t. First of all, this didn’t amount to much reading because each character only has four lines per page at most. More importantly, however, Ali’s sense of rhythm and tension is so keen it was absolutely captivating. After developing a familiarity for the voice and the narrative conflict of each individual character, it became not only easy to follow if I read them altogether, but magical. In the same image from page 19, for example, Chang’s voice combines with the voices of Rizwan Syed, a yoga instructor. When music makes Chang “[feel] lost. / And filled,” and she “[r]emembers the temple pools,” Syed’s section follows with a resonant description of the practice of yoga: “In these quiet moments the empty spaces of silence open wider still.”  A few lines down, when Chang is “adrift now / halfway between sleep and the sound ocean,” Syed recalls, “the “Temple-pool” position” where “students breathe, become bowls.” Ali has not merely placed four different narratives side-by-side. He has arranged them so they parallel and contradict one another, so sentences almost flow completely into one another.

There is little doubt that this potentially intimidating form has limited The Secret Room’s readership. Of the three scanty reviews online (two of which are less than 120 words and on Goodreads), each points to its formal innovation as a sort of deformity, an experimental fetish “not for everyone,” lauded with five stars but noted as a deterrent. It wounds me to see such painstaking craftsmanship and poetic form dismissed by some readers, as works of literature that marry form and content so masterfully are so rare. 

Genre and reception aside, The Secret Room’s value lies not merely in its undeniable technical brilliance, but in the heart of its concerns: each character struggles to create meaning in a life severed from their mother country, spurred by the demands of two, at times diametrically opposed, cultures. With the focus and exertion of a true artist, Sonia Chang prepares for her upcoming concert, “suspended against logic and her fear” (115). Meanwhile, Rizwan Syed, a yoga teacher and aging bachelor, is broken by the death of family members; years of isolation, cultural disconnection, and familial alienation flood in, forcing him to break his personal silences. Jody Merchant, on the other hand, is a social worker whose life beyond the redundant labor of motherhood and her career has come to a halt; like the traffic, it is “nearly unmoving,” as Merchant struggles to rekindle her faded passions (25). Lastly, Pratap Patel grapples with the trauma of losing his younger brother to cancer as a child in India and the paradoxical meaninglessness of his successful life in New York.

Each character must exchange a pound of their souls for survival. Sonia gives up on her dreams of traveling to Kerala and studying South Indian classical music; Jody abandons her name; Rizwan does not speak to his family for years; and Pratap chooses to bear his burdens alone, alienating even his wife. In this way, The Secret Room models and undermines a variety of strategies for healing—from death, from burnout, from migration. Just as Patel begins finding solace in yoga, for example, Syed begins to feel disenchanted with the practice. Ali’s genius lies in the way he shows that each of these fragmented narratives and shattered lives is connected, pulled together and parallel like the strings of a violin. Images from one voice will reappear inverted in another. Characters encounter one another in surprising ways, revealing the intimacy possible within a yoga studio or concert hall, the lightyears between people in the same offices and beds.

Ali has one of those voices that can make the most complex compositions feel lucid. And he manages it all while chiseling jaw-dropping lines that can stand alone, no form or narrative necessary. For the past weeks, I have walked around the following line like a sculpture in mind: “At some point in the barely seen seam between noon and Sonia, a bell rings” (68). Readers will undoubtedly feel their own lives braid into the threads of each narrative until there is no seam between them and Jody’s utter devastation. Until there is no seam between the reader and Pratap’s salvation.

 

 

Tracing the Horse / Diana Marie Delgado / 2019

Tracing the Horse (BOA Editions, September 2019) by Diana Marie Delgado

 

I had the blessing of reading multiple drafts of Tracing the Horse, the debut collection by Californian poet and playwright Diana Marie Delgado. There are few creatures as strong and majestic as horses. One of the most important things I know about horses in the United States, however, is that they belong to people who have way more money than Diane Delgado and me. In Delgado’s work, desire is a horse.

We first see these horses in “The Sea is Farther Than Thought,” a poem that contemplates distance and failure: “As a girl I kept suede horses / and a hairbrush inside a blond toy-box… / I kneeled every time I opened it” (19). The horses here can be read as an escape from the tumultuous environment surrounding the young girl. The girl’s kneeling almost gives the horses a sense of reverence. I also cannot help associating the horses with whiteness because of the color of the toy-box.  In “The Kind of Light I Give Off Isn’t Going to Last,” the horses become a symbol for jealousy when an estranged lover’s girlfriend has horses: “I was jealous. His girlfriend had horses (and what girl doesn’t want to come home and ride horses?)” (36). Given the fact the girlfriend can afford horses, I’m also willing to bet she’s white. Later on, the prose poem “Horses on the Radio” likewise associates horses with troubled gender dynamics in heterosexual romantic relationships (39).

Perhaps the most significant mention of horses in the entire collection, however, comes from the title poem, “Tracing the Horse”: “Maybe Mom’s the horse / because aren’t horses beautiful, / can’t they kill a man if spooked?” (23). Here, the horse signals not only womanly beauty, but also womanly strength and resistance against patriarchal violence. This assortment of horse images suggests that in Tracing the Horse horses can symbolize an idealized womanhood: one that manages to be strong, beautiful, and desirable and also one able to make itself invulnerable to the racism and machismo surrounding it. As the title of this poem and collection suggests, however, the speaker in these poems can only trace this womanhood, never quite making it incarnate.

“I like the lady horses best / how they make it all look easy,” beams Ada Limón in “How to Triumph Like a Girl,” one of the United States’ most beloved poems. Limón’s poem is one of the many examples of what prize-winning Salvadoran writer Alejandro Córdova called US poets’ Beyoncé complex. Our chest-thumping poetics of triumph, our intoxicating performances of survival, and especially our expectations of flawless womanhood. As Córdova and I zigzagged through the streets of San Salvador on his moto, we jabbed about how much we admired and emulated such fiery spunk and clapback. The high of its freedom. To be unbothered, your power undeniable. But survival rarely looks like it does in the Grammys. I listened to Lemonade every day for at least a year, but I lived “Amiga,” one of the short prose poems from Tracing the Horse:

 

We were in front of Kmart when I called your boyfriend

an asshole for beating you up and you told me if I said

anything bad about him again, you’d never speak to me.

 

Here, there are no baseball bats against the windshield, no goddess-like vengeance against the men who harmed you—there’s not even a hint of accountability. Neither the vengeance and healing found in Lemonade, nor the ease and swag of Limón’s poem are possible for Delgado’s speaker.

Tracing the Horse is cut with similar snapshots of life in La Puente, California. Throughout the collection, Delgado shows us images of the city’s want: lines where mothers wait with their children for free cheese and butter, dumpsters where cousins are caught smooching, churches where boys have so much light “plants grow towards them” (18). We find traces of her father’s addiction to heroin—another stupefying horse. One of the greatest blessings of this collection is that we as readers get to witness the speaker grow into their own in this sometimes treacherous community. “I’m older / no longer afraid / my voice, water / from a well,” says the speaker near the end of “Bridge Called Water,” a poem that captures the loss in a breaking home (33). In “Lucky You,” Delgado gifts us one of the tenderest love poems, made all the more touching by the men it has survived. In three swift sections, Delgado paints us an alternative model of survival, a sort of coming-of-age story for a young woman who never had the luxury of being young.

One of the most impressive aspects of Tracing the Horse is Delgado’s ability to create moments of intimacy across distance. In “Correspondence,” Delgado gives readers a glimpse at the adolescent snail mail between her and her brother while he was incarcerated: “Remember when the yard froze / white and Mom tied plastic over our shoes?” (54). Here, it is Delgado’s words that serve as the plastic, the fragile barrier between a loved one and the cold. “I hope you get this letter / before lights out… or have you learned to read in the dark?” writes Delgado as a touching signoff to her brother (54). Tracing the Horse is collection for those who—through necessity—learned how to read in the dark, for those who must carve moments of intimacy through the bars of a jail cell or through the walls at the border.

It may be useful to delineate Delgado’s strengths as a poet by comparing her to another woman of color poet of equal strength who writes in similar veins. In When My Brother Was An Aztec, Natalie Diaz draws scorching supernatural imagery of a drug-addled brother, all laden in metaphor and delivered with breathtaking shifts in form and virtuoso. Diaz’s work cuts like a knife. In Tracing the Horse, Delgado does not adorn her language in spectacular metaphor or braided forms; she provides snapshot after snapshot of her neighborhood and its mundane violence in a language cut clean to the bone, the glistening skeleton of a horse. You would have to look far and wide to find another collection published recently as concise, blunt, and evocative as Tracing the Horse. Particularly effective is Delgado’s use of the prose poem for short difficult scenes, where the reader is asked to grapple with the violence ubiquitous in our communities.  Delgado’s work hits like a hammer. When you read Diaz, you are listening to a calculated, dagger-eyed wordsmith. When you read Delgado, you are listening to a homegirl talk to you on her front porch on a summer night with too many moths, holding a near-empty can of cerveza. Delgado’s poetry is a phone call with a friend you have not talked to in over a year, whose voice tells you as much as her story.

This is what I admire most about Delgado’s work: her poems have no pretensions. It paints survival in colors I can recognize. There are no fireworks, no epiphanies, no awards for making it through the grisliest years of your life. Delgado knows survival does not make you special. Her collection traces the horses of her youth, the stampedes that trampled many.

3 Children's Books: Call Me Max / Carl and the Meaning of Life / Julian is a Mermaid.

Julian is a Mermaid / Jessica Love / 2018

One of Utah’s banned books, I expected a spicier narrative from Julian is a Mermaid. Spoiler Alert, here is the entire plot: a young Black takes down a shower curtain and pretends to be a mermaid. His mother catches him and thinks it’s kinda weird, but later takes him to where there are other mermaids who vaguely resemble drag queens. That’s it. Most of it is expressed visually. There is no explicit gender play besides some mild gender non-conforming but completely normal behavior for a young boy. I loved the rich and tender visuals sure to bring out your inner femme. Nathan was surprised by how shortness of the book but enjoyed the visuals. He wants to be a mermaid, too. 5/5

Carl and the Meaning of Life / Deborah Freedman / 2019

I am always surprised what books Nathan and Chino grab. Carl is a worm going through an existential crisis after a bug asks him why he eats and poops dirt. Carl goes about asking all the creatures about his purpose and being dissatisfied by their answers until he realizes he is an important part of the ecosystem and everything would collapse without him. The art was rich and humble as dirt. 5/5

Call Me Max / Kyle Lukoff / 2019

This is the banned book at the center of the Murray school district scandal in 2019. The book includes the definition of transgender and dares to depict the stress that trans children undergo when they can’t find a bathroom that fits or otherwise have gender imposed on them. I read the book with an eight-year-old and they could reiterate what it meant to be trans to me afterward. This book is at times clearly didactic and includes scenes that are perhaps not crucial to the storyline but provide an illuminating moment on gender. The particle scene that irked me a bit in this regard is when the white protagonist meets a gender non-conforming lack boy in a dress who tells him clothes isn’t what makes gender. The Black character isn’t given anymore airtime which feels weird because Max clearly already undergoes bullying for his behavior and he’s less of a target than a Black boy in a dress for sure. 4/5

I recommend each of these titles for folks interested in children’s literature with substance or with LGBTQ+ themes.

Lorem Ipsum / Hossannah Asuncion / 2008

Lorem Ipsum / Hossannah Asuncion / 2008

I borrowed this book from my friend and am now pretty sure she’s never getting it back. I asked her if I could borrow it while helping her move during a particularly dark and troubling time in her life. Packing her books in a room full of cigarette smoke and the noisy clatter of a rock song clashing against different South Asian song, the cover stood out for its minimalistic design and clearly underground aesthetic. It’s a small chapbook, held together with a tiny binder clip. The chapbook looked like the sort of thing you would never find in a bookstore, but instead tucked in the corner of some bibliophile’s bookshelf. Its origin story checks out: my friend was gifted the book by legendary poet Jeffrey McDaniel, who selected it specifically for her based on her undergrad aesthetic.

The book is full of images drawn from a Google search using “the terms ‘patent’ with ‘pen,’ ‘typewriter,’ or ‘keyboard.’ As random as the images are, they feel essential to the book. There is a nitpickiness about the images that matches the sort of obsessive attention, sometimes frivolous, but undeniably beautiful that seems to stalk quirky artist types. Think Ikea instructional guide with plenty of numbers and arrows.

The title “Lorem Ipsum” refers to the latin phrase for dummy text, literally filler, used in design models. Not the highbrow title we would expect from a published literary collection, but rather something that gives the collection the feel of something like a mixtape. Don’t let it deceive you about the quality of the poems though. There is something lyrically haunting, utterly mundane, and needle-sharp about these poems. Check out these small throwaway lines for example:

1) “A person, / steps onto the elevator. You / smile. It’s an accident.”

2) “You are forgetting the taste / of smog, you hope it is not forgetting you.”

3) “you don’t / realize the strain of your thoughts: / they are so matte you squint / to understand them.”

Magical, right? So inside of its own head, eyes sore with weariness, throat parched with longing. I sit with this collection and feel my humanity stuck in my throat. By humanity, I mean either love or sorrow.

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I recommend this collection for poets and weirdos especially. Everyone else should read it too, but honestly, I don’t think it’s for you.

PS - Doesn’t this author have the coolest name? Doomed to be a poet with that glorious, haunted name.

May Round-Up ft Joshua Jennifer Espinoza, Yesika Salgado, Safia Elhillo, and more

I Hope We Choose Love: A Trans Girl’s Notes From the End of the World / Kai Cheng Tom / 2019

I read this book as a follow up to We Will Not Cancel Us by adrienne maree brown. Here, Tom makes similar arguments, asks similarly difficult questions. I am left with nothing but the reassurance that we owe one another more than a carceral system. That the work of transformative justice will take sacrifice and resources if it will ever be more than an activist’s pipe dream. Interlaced with meaningful poems against about relationship dynamics, self-care, and love, these essays read fluidly, perfect for audiobook reading. Tom’s activist persona sometimes takes some getting used to, largely because it feels like the persona of someone who is a minor celebrity in activist circles. She also uncomfortably fits the traumatized social justice warrior stereotype at times. Even so, I appreciated the weight this book attempted to carry. 4/5

There Should Be Flowers / Joshua Jennifer Espinoza / 2016

An excellent first collection of poems by Latina transwoman, written in a lucid, confessional style. Even though this poetry is sad, often brought down by the weight of transmisogyny and other oppressions, Espinoza reaches for joy with every bit of her strength. Fans of Danez Smith and Christopher Soto will get lost in this book. I recommend this book to anyone interested in trans lit, LGBTQ+ lit, feminism, Latinx lit, poetry, confessional poetry, and anyone who needs a book to help them slow down and absorb the world, whether it be painful or pretty. 5/5

House of Rain: Tracking a Vanished Civilization Across the American Southwest / Craig Childs / 2007

Craig Childs is the perfect author to read via Audiobook. His smooth, breeze-like sentences nestle easily into your ear. The content is not so complex that you’ll need to rewind frequently to make sure you caught everything if you are doing your dishes or driving. This book succinctly and impressively creates a narrative of thousands of years of history of the Ancestral Puebloan, the ancestors of the Hopi, Ute, and other groups, via their pottery, archeological sites, Native rock art, and more. Those with a liking for mystery novels will probably be hooked. Desert rats who love tales of “becoming one with nature” will love this book, especially if they understand “becoming one with nature” is a dangerous activity that will attempt to kill you. I appreciate this book because it taught me a lot about wilderness survival, especially as someone who is unwilling to put myself at risk in the desert. It taught me that the term Utahans use for ancient indigenous groups, ”Anasazi,” is actually a Navajo slur meaning “enemy ancestors.” It taught me about the astrological alignments for ancient sites, the intergenerational migration patterns of humans in the Southwest and how it is evident through changes in pottery, architecture, and cave art. It taught me about the technological significance of the art, how it was likely used to signify ethnicity, historical spots in oral histories, how flames on mountaintops were likely used as long distance morse code system, about communication throughout the Pre-Columbian Americas. If you live in the Southwest, this book will introduce you to the challenges of grappling with our histories, especially as we try to honor sites now. I recommend this book to everyone who lives in the Southwest, and anyone interested in lit about Native history, archeology, the environment, and just damn good non-fiction prose.    5/5

Hermosa / Yesika Salgado / 2019

Here Yesika does what she does best: poems about heartbreak, self-love, odes to home, and pieces exploring diasporic identity. Follow her IG if you haven’t yet, and decide if you want a book of that. I’m looking forward to teaching some of these pieces later. I recommend this book to anyone interested in Latinx lit, feminism, Salvi lit, and love poetry. 3/5

Green / Laura Vacarro Seeger / 2012

A lush colorful book for those who want their children to grow a love for the natural world, learn their colors, while also learning some basic words. There are holes in the pages that create some fun transformation and color crossover in the book. I loved it. I recommend this book for anyone with children. 5/5

Together We Walk / Peter S Seymour / 1971

I found this book while visiting Dreamscapes in the Gateway with poet friends. Instead of exploring the first exhibit, I read the entire book. The fantastical, dreamy environment stimulates and dazzles the senses, and such an environment was actually the perfect setting for reading this calm children’s book about nature and growing up. This book feels like a forgotten gem of children’s literature, not saturated in the gloss and high tech images of today’s books, but organic, sweet, and calming. I recommend this book to everyone. 5/5

Home is not a Country / Safia Elhillo / 2021

Safia Elhillo has gifted us a collection of poems that creates a novel, a so-called novel-in-verse. I’m unsure whether this is just a clever reframing and marketing for a collection of poetry and how blurry/clear the lines of genre are here. The poems do an amazing job building the character, even if as individual pieces, they are at time underwhelming. This book needed to be in poems because I don’t think it could have pulled off its supernatural elements in prose without getting corny. In the story, Nima, named a nostalgia monster by her friends, longs for the homeland, presumably in Sudan (like the author). She creates an alter-ego of herself without her perceived shortcomings named Yasmeen, a version of herself with stronger connections to the homeland, who has a father, who is better at being a young girl. Yasmeen ends up coming to life and the both battle in a struggle to control the timeline and not obliterating Nima from existence. It’s a heavy handed metaphor for the struggle of diasporic identity, but in this set of poems it largely works and leaves the reader with a fulfilling sense of peace. I recommend this book for folks interested in the line between fiction and poetry, Black lit, feminist lit, diasporic lit, and YA. 3/5    

The Fine Balance / Rohinton Mistry / 1997

A lower caste family attempts to improve their station by becoming tailors. Taking place during The Emergency, the third-person narrator delivers the story of their tribulations and eventual downfall to becoming beggars in a blunt, factual style. The reader watches helplessly as they face eviction, amputation, forced sterilization, and worse. I deeply admire the author’s restraint and his reluctance to aestheticize or lyricize the violence. I also admire his ability to follow the main characters clearly while capturing the busyness of India. This book does an excellent job capturing its time, the pressures of modernization, the attempts of poorer families to rise in status. It broke my heart over and over again. 5/5

Wake: The Hidden History of Women-Led Slave Revolts / Rebecca Hall & Hugo Martínez / 2021

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Part memoir, part graphic novel, Wake attempts to flesh out the history of women-led slave revolts. The scholarly work supporting this book is painstaking, and the novel does an excellent job elucidating the challenges of reading the suppressed clues signaled in the archives. Here, we hear the author express the toll the work takes on her, a familiar tale for anyone whose graduate studies focused on oppression of marginalized groups. Most importantly, we learn the crucial role women played in many slave revolts. Hall uncovers that women were responsible for the slave revolts on most ships, largely because they were left unchained by really misogynistic and stupid enslavers. I strongly recommend this book for high school students learning about history. This book would pair great with books like Persepolis, Maus, and Nat Turner. I recommend this book to those interested in memoir, Black history, Feminist lit, and LGBTQ+ lit. 5/5

 

April Round-up ft adrienne marie brown, Dayna Patterson

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WE WILL NOT CANCEL US / adrienne marie brown / 2020

What a challenging, compassionate book! I’m glad our social justice movements are amplifying voices as brave and nuanced as brown’s. I read this book in one sitting, and it took maybe two or so hours, carried through by her lucid and urgent writing, her asking the questions we need to consider to continue to grow the abolition movement.

I’ve grown a distaste for some of the prison abolitionist communities I’ve known, only because some seem to know much more about what they’re against than what they’re for. Sometimes they too gleefully launch obvious critiques against our current system while not actively seeking to build up alternatives to carceral justice. There are abolitionists who don’t give people in their own communities the resources and time to work through conflict or harm. Abolition demands that we build systems that truly care for and protect people, which means we need to get used to giving our time and mucking through the yuck of our comrades decision-making, traumas, and so forth to gain enough clarity to understand what needs to be healed, because that’s the only way to prevent violence instead of simply exiling it to another community.

I give this book a 5/5. I recommend it for anyone interested in social justice, social work, Black studies, feminism, and queer lit.

If Mother Braids a Waterfall / Dayna Patterson / 2020

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Perhaps feeling limited by all the stereotypes and connotations of bitterness and fury that ride along with ex-Mormon, Patterson coins a new terminology and in doing so carves out a new space for herself in what she calls the post-Mormon. Becoming post-Mormon is a process of grieving, where Patterson writes letters to her ancestors in attempts to honor or decipher their legacies, where poignant moments in Mormon history are unfolded from their origami shapes, and where Patterson finds not only sorrow but relief. My favorite poems are “Still Mormon,” “Our Lord Jesus in Drag,” “When I Beach,” “Thirty-Three Reasons Why: A Partial List,” and “I Could Never Be a Jehovah’s Witness.”

I recommend this book for anyone interested in Mormon studies, the West, religion, and genealogy through verse. 3/5

The Desert Hides Nothing / Ellen Meloy and Stephen Strom / 2020

This book is precious for the way it helps others appreciate and understand the beauty of the Southwest in all its hot, sandy, and dry beauty. Quick vignettes of Meloy’s startlingly poetic prose seduce readers into the landscape with odes on flowers, remoteness, liquid silence, ancient sea beds and more. As someone who somewhat grew up hating our desert, Meloy’s words invite me in, tell me what to look for, help me see the richness where my eyes once only saw thirst and sunburn. Strom’s photographs invite deeper meditation and contemplation, at once realist and abstract. Anyone living in the Mountain West knows it’s immensely difficult to capture the beauty of this place on camera. Strom’s photographs have a detail and breadth that lulls your eyes to meander over its pixels. I’m grateful for this book and will be using it to help my friends understand the beauty in this stark, dehydrated place.

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I recommend this book for anyone interested in landscape photography, the West, environmental literature, and poetry. 5/5

Index of Haunted Houses / Adam O. Davis / 2020

Fans of John Sibley Williams rejoice! Here comes another moody lyricist with an eye capable of seeing in the darkness. These poems read bullet-fast if you let them, passing by like ghosts, leaving you shifted—troubled and intrigued at the same time. There’s an interesting wrestle with the hauntings of racism in “Pacific Americana,” where the poet moans “Forgive us, History. We orphan everything we touch.” Those curious of whether or not they’d vibe with the poetics and imagery of this book, here’s a litmus test: Can you appreciate the haunted stillness of this image from “Ghost Story, 2020”:

The Earth a blue penny in a black pool.

My biggest beef with this collection is that when I interviewed Adam O. Davis for the Utah Book Festival in 2020, he seemed to imply that he didn’t really believe in ghosts. As someone who regularly communes with the religious, psychics, poets, spiritualists, and mystics, it seems clumsy to write a whole book using ghost as a lyric metaphor for your grief if you have not been haunted. The ghost seems boiled down to something abstract, rather than something visceral here.

I recommend this book to anyone interested in lyric poetry, contemporary American poetry, or someone who just needs something moody to play in the back of their skull.

The House on Mango Street / Sandra Cisneros / 1984

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Shoutout to all the Latinx writers who have yet to finish A House on Mango Street. I learned about this book in high school, even had my wonderful teacher Mrs. McCandless teach us a few passages from the book, even worked my way part of the way through it—then totally slept on it for more then ten years. I even attended Sandra Cisneros’ Macando retreat without having fully read it! (For the record, I’ve read a healthy amount of her other work and fallen deeply in love with it.) Usually when I find a book this magical, I get mad about the erasure of our literature from mainstream discourses and blah blah blah, but damn, with Mango Street I don’t event have the excuse.

Written in short flash fiction snapshots, Cisneros follows a Latina kid named Esperanza and tracks how working class neighborhoods like Mango Street defined her, frequently in limiting ways but ultimately in ways she appreciates. There’s a way these vignettes are sometimes portrayed as quaint or colorful in the interpretations of some of our teachers. The fact my teacher even suggested the book made me think it was safe and “positive.” I realize now that my teacher might have been trying to plant a seed, to give me a book to teach me a thing she couldn’t teach me about. My teachers didn’t share with the class and me the vignettes that more directly touched on gendered violence, sexual violence, and the degradations working class immigrant communities bear, even though they are critical aspects of the narrative, these so-called “adult” experiences we are not supposed to talk about with children.

I hold this book tenderly now, feeling foolish. Sometimes God puts a glass of water in front of us and we simply stare at it, complaining of our thirst, complaining of God’s cruelty. So much about this book is about power, autonomy, being able to forge a path beyond your circumstances, especially if you’re a young woman of color. Sandra Cisneros teaches us in the last chapter that the best way to love and honor a place sometimes is to leave it behind.

I recommend this book for everyone, but if you’re interested in Latinx lit, Feminist literature, or flash fiction, bump this to the top of your list. It will take you three hours to read if you’re slow. It’s the perfect book to read one chapter of each morning, letting the natural rhythms of your life to stretch out the narrative, so it feels like you’re almost moving at the exact same slow space of a child. But it’s mostly the perfect book for the morning, because the book focuses heavily on finding autonomy, freedom, an act that ultimately requires self-love, a self-love large and wide enough to sustain you when the world doesn’t.

Imaginary Borders / Xiuhtezcatl Martinez / 2020

Imaginary Borders / Xiuhtezcatl Martinez / 2020

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In 63 short pages, Martinez attempts to convince everyone, but especially youth and perhaps especially especially youth of color, to get involved in the environmental activism. What drew me to the book was Martinez’s blunt, no bullshit language and the hip-hop lean in his voice. What kept me there was his clear-eyed understanding of the challenges facing our planet, the solutions available, and the facts and research to back things up. In particular, Martinez writes a sharp argument for the urgent need to include people of color on the front lines of the movement. As someone who has spent the past year understand what intellectual traditions keep people of color out of environmental canons and programs and how writers and artists of color have contributed to the fight against climate change, I deeply appreciate Martinez punchy contribution. Written with urgency and in a casual conversational tone, Imaginary Borders is a perfect text for distracted and disillusioned teenagers. I recommend this book for environmentalists, young adults, and anyone interested in hip-hop activism.

I give this book a 3.5/5

As a side note, Xiuhtezcatl also raps. Their latest album is worth a listen and their discography fits cleanly alongside folks like Rebel Diaz, Logic, Flobots, Frank Waln, and other rappers joined by positivity and wokeness.

Ask Baba Yaga: The Audiobook Collection / Taisia Kitaiskaia / 2020

Ask Baba Yaga: The Audiobook Collection / Taisia Kitaiskaia / 2020

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A fascinating cross between poetry, magic, and self-help, Ask Baba Yaga transforms one medium’s advice column into a rich book of prose poetry, tackling the complex contours of contemporary society with both classic questions like “how do I get over this breakup?” and some funny-ass curve balls like, “how do I stop falling in love with everyone I meet?” I especially appreciate the dives into deeply relatable 21st century questions like “How Do I Deal with Climate Change?” and “How Do I Live in Peace as a Trans Woman?”

I especially recommend this book for lovers of tarot and magic, but on the real, we all need this kind of medicine on occasion. If I were you, I’d buy an illustrated hard copy and read some advice out of it every morning. The advice is frequently heavily poetic and metaphor, taking cues from the cliches and phrases in the inquirer’s question and fleshing them out with fantasy and grit. There are plenty of cryptic bits like sticks of cinnamon to chew and suck. Baba Yaga’s wisdom has cold, glittering eyes, but sometimes snow angels are closest we’ll ever get to heaven. I give this book a 5/5.

Special thanks goes to RJ Walker and Elle Alder for introducing me to this book in their podcast Mancy. To check out Mancy, go here: https://www.mancypodcast.com/

Cure for the Common Universe / Christian McKay Heidicker / 2016

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Cure for the Common Universe / Christian McKay Heidicker / 2016

This book is hilarious. Especially if you have the sense of humor of a teenage boy and don’t mind curse words too much. I’m impressed by how many ways Heidicker managed to make Jaxon’s self-deprecating man boob jokes funny. Sophomoric jokes aside, I appreciated the emotional journey of the protagonist Jaxon on this one. While the majority of the plot tackles Jaxon’s cross-eyed infatuation with a teenage girl he had a five-minute (if that) encounter with, the novel successfully unravels Jaxon’s romantic naivete, family baggage, and teenage myopia. The conflict is this: Jaxon finally has a date on Friday, but on Monday, his parents force him to go to a video game rehabilitation center. Jaxon has four days to prove he’s well enough to leave the center and make it not only to his first date, but potentially his only chance at love in the universe. The rehab center features plenty of unexpected surprises, both within its bizarre programming and in the genuine wisdom teens learn at the facility. In my favorite scenes, Jaxon is called out for his privileges by a blunt queer fat Vietnamese teenage girl gamer, who despite facing racist bullying at the rehab center, manages to come off as more than a stereotype and one of the most fleshed out characters among the gamers. Much less can be said of Soup, a child Jaxon bullies and although he ultimately deeply regrets his behavior, Jaxon (and thereby the reader) aren’t afforded a glimpse into Soup’s full humanity.

Gamers will find a plethora of deep cut references to scratch their nerdy bones, but even if your gaming knowledge is limited, you will still find plenty to hang out to with this book.

Please gift this to a teenager in your life, especially if they have a doofus sense of humor. I recommend this book for anyone interested in YA, video games, masculinity, and fiction. I give this a 5/5.

March 2020 to March 2021 Book Review Outcomes

Here are some quick stats for my reading for 2020 to 2021. I read 67 books, which feels like a low number, so my goal for this upcoming year will be to try to break that record by at least 10.

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Benchmark 1: Utah vs Non-Utah: It looks like I’m reading enough Utah authors for my work.

Benchmark 2: Genre: I should read more theatre, but otherwise, it looks like my reading habits are pretty even.

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Benchmark 3: Gender: I need to read more women.

Benchmark 4: Ethnicity: I’m not reading enough Latinx or Black literature!!!

Benchmark 5: International lit vs US lit: I definitely want to be reading more literature in translation. I’ll try to double this number, I think.

Benchmark 6: Sexuality: It looks like I have a healthy amount of queer folks.

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August to March Round-Up: 27 Books!

Hello world,

August 2020 to October 2020, my only real goal every day was getting through my workday. My therapist specifically had me working on not caring how productive I was each day, so I can base my self-love and self-worth on something other than my productivity. I appreciate my therapist for the revolutionary challenge and change she sparked in me and my sense of self. It really helped connect me to a truer, more peaceful version of myself. Anyway, personal growth aside, I managed to keep reading a lot, but fell very behind on the book reviews. In late March 2020, I made the goal of writing a book review for every book I read throughout a year. In a desperate attempt to keep by my personal goal, here’s a round-up of 27 books I read that I didn’t get around to writing a complete blog post for.

Unforgetting: A Memoir of Family, Migration, Gangs, and Revolution in the Americas / Roberto Lovato / 2020

One of the most comprehensive books on the contemporary Salvadoran migrant experience ever written. I hope it becomes a classic in Central American and Latinx studies. It’s all here: 1932, the civil war, migration, understanding gang violence, and one man’s reflections and making sense of it all. It’s a book I wish I would have read when I was 13. Lovato is one of our fiercest and sharpest voices. With the swagger of a once-gang member, once-born again Christian, and once revolutionary, Lovato writes in searing, lucid prose. I recommend this book for anyone interested in Latinx and Latin American histories, international politics, memoir, war literature, or gang literature. 5/5

The Book of Delights / Ross Gay / 2019

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Written during the Trump era, Ross writes blunt, poetic observations of his daily life, in an attempt to flesh out the delight. In doing so, Ross opens our senses to the wonder and deliciousness, sometimes quotidian, sometimes spectacular, always somehow ubiquitous. Listening to this book is one of the most healing things I’ve done and practiced in the past month. This is not a book without its share of sorrow and loss, but a practice in staying present in the moment and finding the stars in the darkness. I recommend this book to everyone, but especially think it provides a valuable contribution to Black studies, as it focuses on Black joy rather than Black suffering. 5/5

Tao Te Ching: A Book about the Way and the Power of the Way / Lao Tzu, rendered by Ursula Le Guin / 2019

I first discovered the Tao Te Ching through a poetic rendition of it in my local library in 8th grade. It was about the same time I discovered The Gospel of Thomas and The Laughing Jesus: Religious Lies and Gnostic Wisdom, two books that rattled my sense of self and the world. At the time, it provided me with a larger sense of meaning and spirituality when my then-Mormon worldview began to fray at the edges.

When I saw that literary powerhouse Ursula Le Guin had a rendition, I got my hands on it immediately. I worked my way through this book in the mornings and re-discovered some of the hardest earned lessons of my life, elucidated in pocket-sized stanzas in a language clear as water. They served as important reminders in a world constantly trying to distract us and convince us of other urgencies and priorities. Le Guin’s rendition is by far my favorite. It includes helpful—not distracting or pedantic—footnotes that help you wrestle with the meaning of the text. The notes includes critiques, etymologies, competing translations, Le Guin’s own wrestlings with the difficult language and sometimes obscure meaning.

Many of the translations of the Tao te Ching lose its humor, its fluidity and its clarity, reveling instead in obscurity and literalism. Le Guin makes Lao Tzu feel human. I recommend this book to everyone, especially martial artists, philosophers, the religious, and anyone going through traumatic experiences. 5/5

Letters to a Young Brown Girl / Barbara Jane Reyes / 2020

I was first introduced to Barbara Jane Reyes through Soleil David during my MFA program. I am incredibly indebted to her as Reyes is—or at least should be—one of the most important voices in poetry land, especially when it comes to women of color. Written mostly in prose poetry, Letters to a Young Brown Girl reads with the clarity and down-to-earth-ness of Yesika Salgado and the blade of Natalie Diaz in my opinion, a great marriage of staple content and razor sharp form. Anyone looking for music recommendations will be grateful to see a series of poems inspired by songs important to Reyes coming of age. If you are trying to raise a young woman que no se deja, with as much metaphor as passion in her eyes, you want to pass along this book. If you are trying to raise a human who honors the grit and wisdom of the women in their lives, pass along this book. While aimed at a younger audience, it is not without maturity and wisdom. I recommend this book to anyone interested in Filipinx literature, Asian studies, YA literature, and contemporary poetry. 3/5

Summerlost / Allie Condie / 2016

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I should begin this quick review by admitting, I was very resistant to liking this book. It’s about Cedar City, a place where I worked overtime almost every week, basically had zero friends, was suffocated by whiteness and conservativism, and where I was incredibly lonely. Condie’s attempts to portray the place in a wistful, poetic, and even beautiful light were not welcomed by me!

Condie’s middle-grade novel covers the story of a young biracial (white and Asian) girl who has recently lost her father and younger brother to a car accident. Written in short, micro-fiction sized chapters, the book moves along quickly while somehow still capturing the smell-the-roses pace and atmosphere of life in rural Utah. Grief, especially at such a young age, is difficult to capture. Yet here, with tenderness, Condie renders the healing of a young girl, who finds ways to treasure and remember those she has lost, while developing new relationships and memories to push her forward. I'm also heartened—and I should say it, impressed!—to see the inclusion of a biracial Asian American character without letting racial issues subsume the rest of the book. The protagonist is a fully developed character and not merely a microcosm of larger race issues.

I recommend this book for everyone, especially 1) children dealing with grief and death, 2) white people trying to learn how to write POC characters, 3) people who need an easy read that will nurture and warm them and won’t demand your work brain to be on without sacrificing craft. This is a book you can cozy up to after a difficult day. 5/5

Appropriation: A Provocation / Paisley Rekdal / 2021

Writing about cultural appropriation usually makes me wanna pull my hair out. Even when I agree with the authors of the think pieces and hot takes, it’s a hard thing to talk about without sounding like you are too woke, foaming at the mouth, the champions of so-called “cancel culture.” Here, Paisley steps into these troubled waters with the grace of a dolphin who knows choreographed swimming routines. She manages to talk about these thorny issues with a clear-eyed precision, compassion, and without become belaboring. The fear of offending someone and clumsily crossing a line haunts many contemporary writers, so it is especially apt and touching to see this collection of essays written to an imaginary student, wrestling with insecurities and difficult subject material, who is asking for advice. This book should be required in every creative writing curriculum, and it should have been required decades ago. It would have saved many a young writer from the grief of muddling through these complicated issues on their own. It would have saved quite a few from getting their work trampled for sloppy renditions of cultures they didn’t know enough about.

I recommend this book to every creator, writer, and artist. It should be a staple of ethnic studies. It should win a grammy too. 5/5

Hood Criaturas / féi hernandez / 2020

féi deserves a spot in poetry right next to Danez Smith and Christopher Soto. Nonbinary, undocumented, and 100% magical, their debut collection of poems has an explosive use of form from the guttural anger of the prose poems “dontcomeformyhood” and “Brunch” to the slick quatrains of “When They Leave, a Pantoum.” While the collection deals with the very real traumas of PTSD and migration, it also celebrates and fights for its joy in poems like “first real nations of nations”. féi has so much soul and punch. I am grateful to get to peer into their light. I recommend this book to anyone interested in undocu literature, LGBTQ+ literature, Latinx literature, “political” poetry and contemporary poetry. 4/5

American Grief in Four Stages / Sadie Hoagland / 2019

14 stories in 155 pages, each with their own seductive sadness. I found myself sinking deeper into my seat, lowering into the sofa breathing this one in deep. These are inglorioIus struggles: a military veteran half-heartedly attempting to kindle a romantic relationship, a teenager trying to make sense of the suicide of his bright and popular little brother. The only reason I’m not giving this five out of five is because a few stories didn’t jump as high as the others, including “Fucking Aztecs” which repeats unfortunate stereotypes about natives. I especially dug stories like "Dementia, 1692”, which takes us back to witch hunts in Puritan America with a glass melting rhythm and sorrow. I recommend this collection to anyone interested in short fiction. 3.5/5

The Beethoven Sequence / Gerald Elias / 2020

I didn’t finish this political thriller. I stopped on this passage and realized all my suspicions that The Beethoven Sequence was, in fact, a bad book, and not simply a book that I wasn’t really interested were true. I especially hated that this book used the really politically fraught story of a man falsely accused of sexual violence as a mere plot device. Here is the passage that made me finally give up on reading, admittedly a couple of hundred pages too late:

“I’ve got this Mr. Clean fantasy,” she says, kissing the top of his head. “I have this thing about bald men. Have I ever mentioned that?”

“Even bald sex offenders?”

“They’re the best kind.”

His hand is inside her bathrobe, and he stands up to make it easier for her to find his zipper. He hasn’t been with a woman since the nightmare started eleven years before. Before his wife left him. Before he spent nine lonely years in prison. He can’t wait any longer. He presses his mouth against hers and she presses back. He pins her on her back on the kitchen table. She tears at his jeans and underpants and grasps his penis, pulling it insider her. He unties her robe and squeezes her breasts, hard. Eyes closed and her head back, she supports herself on her elbows, wrapping her legs around Whitmore’s waist. Her right hand falls into Whitmore’s dinner plate. As he presses into her, she grabs a handful of potato salad and coleslaw and smears it over his face and stuffs it into his mouth. Covering his lips with hers, the two of them tongue the food back and forth from one mouth to the other.

“You like chicken?” she whispers as she licks his face.

“What kind of question is that?” he pants. “Yeah. I suppose.”

“Good. Me, too.”

Feeling behind her for the remains of a chicken drumstick, she clutches it and slowly slides it into and then out of his mouth, as far as it will go, both of them licking at it, sucking on it. She wraps an arm around his neck as he rides her, his body spasming out of control. His wraps his arms around her back, pulling her toward him. He wants it to go on forever, but it has been such a long time. He shudders as he empties himself into her. He sinks onto her chest, panting, laughing, and crying at the same time.

“House confinement has its rewards,” he says, when his breath returns.”

I don’t recommend this book. 0/5

Women Who Run With Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype / Clarissa Pinkola Estés / 1989 & Under Saturn’s Shadow: The Wounding and Healing of Men / James Sollis / 1994

I read Women Who Run With Wolves because it was recommended to me my many women of color in my life and even my therapist. I read Under Saturn’s Shadow, similarly, because men of color close to me found this title powerful. Both these books strengths are also their greatest weaknesses. Namely, they both essentialize and flatten men and women a tad bit too much to fit into the archetypes they are interested in. As someone whose gender identity and expression doesn’t fit neatly into femininity or masculinity, I struggled a lot to see myself in either book, although I felt pieces of both deep inside me. Women Who Run With Wolves is especially for women who have had to repress themselves under the pressure of racism and patriarchy. Under Saturn’s Shadow is especially for men with a lack of father figures in their lives. Both have deep poetic moments that will sweep you off your feet—it just might not be the norm. If you aren’t into Freudian and Jungian psychology, these probably aren’t for you. I give both 2.5/5.

Avatar: The Last Airbender - The Promise / Gene Luen Yang / 2012

I stepped into the Avatar comic series tentatively. I read them for free online, even watched a couple dubbed on YouTube. At the time, I was dreadfully depressed and needed something to just get me to the next day. So I binged, escaping into the world of Avatar. I was impressed by how good the comics are! It’s hard to keep the integrity of such a beloved and masteful series, but Gene Luen Yang pulls it off! Here tensions between Avatar Aang and Fire Lord Zuko emerge as Zuko begins to negotiate with the Earth Kingdom over colonized lands. The plot creates a powerful snapshot of some of the complex cultural mixing that happen during colonization and lived up to my hopes and dreams for the series. I recommend this to all youth and anyone interested in children’s literature. 5/5

Avatar: The Last Airbender - The Search / Gene Luen Yang / 2013

One of the greatest mysteries in the Avatar series is what happens to Zuko’s mom. This comic rewards fans’ patience and curiosity and doesn’t fail to deliver a powerful, coherent story, covering this important mystery in Avatar lore, doing a great job of capturing the struggles of women in oppressive marriages. I recommend this to all youth and anyone interested in children’s literature. 5/5

Avatar: The Last Airbender - The Rift / Gene Luen Yang / 2014

This comic is especially good for talking with children about the complications of modernization and the importance of environmental stewardship. Avatar Aang fails to create balance in this issue, prioritizing friendships over peace between humans and spirits. This is a fraught decision, and Yang handles it well. 4/5

Avatar: The Last Airbender: Smoke and Shadow / Gene Luen Yang / 2015

This comic rewards us with the return of our favorite villain Azula, and she is somehow even more mad, reckless, and bone-chilling. She goes to ghastly extremes to disrupt Zuko’s reign in this one. Zuko learns hard lessons about the dark side of power and the importance of freedom. 5/5

Avatar: The Last Airbender: North and South / Gene Luen Yang / 2016

This series is especially good for talking about intracultural colonization and conflict. Katara and Sokka have to navigate not only coming from a defeated culture whose knowledge has largely been destroyed by war, but also trying to figure out power dynamics with sister tribes with more power. It is a little heavy on the politicking in my opinion, but a decent contribution the Avatar world 3/5

The Legend of Korra: Turf Wars / Michael Dante DiMartino / 2017

Again, I was impressed by how they sustained the integrity and the feel of the TV series. So, I enjoyed and was annoyed by all the same aspects of the comics as I was of the TV series. That said, I deeply enjoyed the way the series navigated the Korra and Asami’s lesbian relationship, creating believable conflict in a supportive family. The new villain is a logical outcome of the spirit world intermingling with the human world. 3/5

The Legend of Korra: Ruins of Empire / Michael Dante DiMartino / 2019

Here, DiMartino tries to create a redemption arc for Kuvira and deals with election stealing. It may have been the less-than-graceful attempts to reconcile Kuvira’s crimes and create a transformed character. It may have been the fact I was reading this alongside endless news about the US election. But this one had me as dissatisfied with it as I was with the Kuvira arc. 2/5

Them: Why We Hate Each Other—and How to Heal / Ben Sasse / 2018

As I live in a red state, I follow conservative Reddit, am a registered Republican, and now read conservative books to try to understand how to best do cultural and social justice work in this state. Sasse is an interesting figure in the Republican party, voting to impeach Trump but otherwise your run-of-the-mill small-town Republican with a love of pickup trucks, fear of porn, and belief in small governments. I profoundly disagree with Sasse’s romanticization of US history. In one passage, for example, he strains, arguing that the US is exceptional for abolishing slavery, ignoring the fact that plenty of Latin American and European countries abolished slavery before us. Abolishing slavery is a low standard for “exceptional” behavior and even in the scheme of the rest of the world, we were mediocre at best. If you can get past the warped and idealized renditions of US history and tearful patriotism on occasion, you might feel the empathy Sasse has for people navigating the digital revolution and the love he has for community building. Sasse might get a little preachy about building an authentic meaningful work and family life and about avoiding the toxicities of social media, but the majority of Sasse’s observations are hard to disagree with. I recommend this book to anyone trying to understand contemporary US conservatism and contemporary American politics. 2/5

The Only Good Indians / Stephen Graham Jones / 2020

I fell in love with Stephen Graham Jones when I first read Mapping the Interior last February. Jones is literary without pretension, popular for his horror and fantasy that draws heavily on Native lore, social issues, and intergenerational trauma. In the first story, racism is just as threatening of a force as the fantasy monster, as he is chased by both bigoted white men and an elk-monster. In general, his characters are Native men at various levels of stuckness, trying and failing to gain a better grip on their social and economic circumstances. It’s absolutely chilling to see some of them descend into madness, narrated in a brilliantly eerie voice and turn. His characters speak like real people of color, swearing, throwing shade on white folk, and navigating fraught cultural heritages. I recommend this book to anyone interested in horror, fantasy, Native literature, and fiction. 4/5

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Calvin and Hobbes: Volume 1 / Bill Watterson / 1987

My partner bought me this book for Christmas because I never really read Calvin and Hobbes much and the comic strip was an important part of her childhood and is a fundamental part of her humor. While these comics didn’t often make me laugh out loud, they are incredibly charming. I particularly enjoyed watching how the comics played with gender, sometimes even subverting some masculine expectations for a tickle. C&H is wholesome, pure playfulness is a world that seems to very interesting versions of that. 4/5

Homegoing / Yaa Gyasi / 2016

Following a well-worn path in Black literature, this novel covers the story of a family in a Ghanaian village, eventually torn apart by the slave trade. It alternates the perspectives of the family left behind in Ghana, as well as the part of the family that will become African American and carries us all the way to the present. I especially appreciated the African portions of the novel, as they traced less familiar terrain (to me), including 1) the story of family that did business in the slave trade and the conflict it created between relatives 2) the story of a queer son in Ghana, navigating African leadership and social pressures of the slave era, and 3) the story of a woman condemned for witchcraft and the death of her child. Deeply lyric and wounding, Gyasi’s writing is carefully carved, chiseled sharp and penetrating. I recommend this book to anyone interested in multiple perspectives in fiction, stories about intergenerational trauma, and Black literature. 4/5

My Woman Card is Anti-Native and Other Two Spirit Truths / Petrona Xemi Tapepechul / 2016

A transgender woman, language worker, actor, poet, playwright, model, and the Artistic Director of Angel Rose Artist Collective, Petrona Xemi Tapepechul is a beauty and joy we don’t deserve. She works with ANIS to preserve the Nawat language in Central America. This collection centers on identity development, especially in fraught politicized contexts. You can critique it for its bluntness, use of form, and the centering of its stanzas, but if you’re reading it for polished literary craft, you’re here for the wrong reasons. This is an enunciation of self, creating space in a world trying to kill you, and doing it with finesse. Xemi is a force. 3/5

Terroir: Love out of Place / Natasha Sajé / 2020

I should start this off by saying I am absolutely the worst person to review this book. Natasha Sajé has been my mentor, former professor, letter of recommend writer, and has—like any teacher—shaped me for better and worse. As a young slam poet, I troubled her office hours with my dreams of becoming a great writer, and she carefully, albeit brutally honestly, provided me with feedback, excellent opportunities, and a place to work out my relationship with writing. I got my feelings hurt a couple of times, some of which I blame on my own arrogance and naivete, and other times due to my own frustrations that Natasha was not the hip-hop-fluent, Spanish-speaking, Central American mentor I really wanted. Our relationship has evolved from one of student-teacher, to colleague-colleague in some ways. I would not be anywhere near where I am today without Natasha, and I’m indebted and grateful for her mentorship. Needless to say, however, our relationship is rich and complex.

As much as I got a small window into her academic presence and felt like I knew her, I knew extremely little about her life and what shaped her. My first year of grad school I read a short essay by Natasha online and was stunned to learn that Natasha was once married to a Black man and that he died tragically and that I likely first met her when she was in the throes of her mourning.

Terroir is an uncomfortable book for many reasons. It deals with the grief of losing her husband and her journey of growth as a white person on racial issues. There are some sticky moments, as when describing her father’s racism, Sajé writes out the N-word, among other slurs her father used. She describes people of color using the clichés of chocolate and food. And while I’m sure that there are a number of moments in the book that will make some people of color cringe, its value comes in Sajé’s willingness to be vulnerable and acknowledging her past mistakes. This is hard work, but as far as white people processing race issues goes, it’s a worthwhile effort.

My favorite parts of the book were the bits that described her queer coming-of-age and her lesbian marriage. Natasha did a great job capturing the beauty of her relationships, whether its with her late husband, current partner, or childhood caregiver. I recommend this book for anyone interested in reading up about relationships, memoirs, and white perspectives on racial issues. 2/5

Always Running: La Vida Loca: Gang Days in LA / Luis Rodriguez / 1993

A predecessor to Unforgetting above, Always Running tells the gritty tale of Luis Rodriguez’s turbulent coming-of-age, including the sex, drugs, gang life, and racism he experienced as a kid. It serves as a powerful map of his way out violent behavior, including the social and school programs that provided important outlets and space for Latinx youth to process issues important to their lives. Always Running includes a fiery argument in favor of ethnic studies courses in high school and the importance for youth of color to see themselves represented. Rodriguez highlights the young women who led his high school activism and the young girlfriends that were good influences on his life.

This book broke into my soul. It covers race riots, murders, drug addiction, the too often unacknowledged scars communities of color suffer generation after generation. It is a required read in LA county I heard, and it should be a required read everywhere in North America. 5/5

The Shadow of Kyoshi / F. C. Yee / 2020

Kyoshi’s conflict with Kuruk, her efforts to create effective change rather than petty vigilante justice, and her conflict with Yun create a tense path for her to follow. While I’m usually not a fan of the politic heavy aspects of certain Avatar storylines, Yee manages to make them interesting by portraying them through Kyoshi’s unique perspective as an orphan turned Avatar and her general clumsiness as Avatar. We get to share her frustration and confusion at the elaborate social rituals of the Fire nation for example. This book was the entertaining, adventurous, emotional read I was hoping for. I recommend it to anyone interested in Fantasy, Asian literature, LGBTQ+ relationships in literature, martial arts, and YA lit.

Disparates / Patrick Madden / 2020

in Disparates, Provo Writer Patrick Madden is purposefully frivolous, tacking in his essays tangential musings whose charm is found in their quirkiness, their dorkiness. This can be really tickling and clever if you are into the vibe, but in general they are the dad jokes of an erudite English professor. I recommend this to anyone interested in seeing the range of forms used in contemporary non-fiction essays. 2/5

Memorias from the Beltway / Mauricio Novoa / 2020

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This is a hard-hitting poetry collection with lines that will dagger and snipe like a battle rapper. An heir to the styles of John Murillo and Quique Aviles, Mauricio Novoa reps DC Salvis well. With references to Romero and Roque, poems that are raps with an easygoing fluency in rhyme, this book is everything I love about poetry. Here, Novoa writes about his upbringing in the Beltway, rapping about basketball, police violence, poverty, yes, but also touching poems about his father’s tenderness on Novoa’s first day of school or “Muthafuckin’ Trees,” which is a city boy’s ode to nature. I’m especially grateful for this gift and look forward to tracing Novoa’s sure to be exciting literary career. I recommend this book to anyone interested in Salvi lit, Central American lit, Hip-hop, contemporary poetry, rhyme, and men of color. 5/5

Girls Lost / Jessica Schiefauer, trans. Saskia Vogel / 2011, trans 2020

Girls Lost / Jessica Schiefauer, trans. Saskia Vogel / 2011, trans. 2020

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I bought this Swedish book for its queer and quizzical premise: three teenage girls and besties discover a plant that magically transforms them into teenage boys; while two of the girls use the plant recreationally for a bit, one of them gets addicted to the experience of masculinity, causing a riff in their relationship. The premise obviously steers into the territory of trans experiences and issues, but the thing is, I cannot find any evidence that the author is in fact LGBTQ+. I opened the book out of curiosity about how the experience of trading genders was managed. I kept reading because the translation is written in absolutely intoxicating, poetic prose. On average, the chapters are about 3-to-4 pages, making for a snappy and rewarding read. Schiefauer is boss at these flash fiction sized chapters.

Like most teenage stories, the logic of this one only works if you assume parents and teachers were somehow severely disconnected and not present in the teenagers’ worlds, yet somehow leading otherwise quite normal lives. The girls first experience the effects of this magical plant during a sleepover, but need to sneak out on subsequent nights to play with the plant. Schiefauer does an excellent job of capturing the exhilaration these girls must have felt, experiencing a man’s strength and lustfulness for the first times. Their social interactions with other young boys contrast immensely with their experiences in a female body: “We encountered boys. Made eye contact for a fraction of a second, then they sort of just looked past us, past our eyes. It was strange. No slick, slippery looks, no desire, no grins, nothing that crept under our skin and sank its teeth in.”

Despite being familiar with the impacts of toxic masculinity, Kim quickly falls in love with its embodiment in Tony, a young, but older man Kim befriends. Tony leads a small group of teens through rebellious activities: drinking booze and smoking, breaking into junkyards to rev up cars. The group follows a strict pecking order based on his discretion, where Kim competes for attention with other young men. Girls Lost ultimately rejects toxic masculinity once Tony crosses a line and Kim responds violently. Time gets really weird during the end of the novel, expanding and contracting, as Kim spends a number of years in hiding.

This is where the biggest critique of Girls Lost comes in: Girls Lost is written in a way that makes it seem like the author was unfamiliar with trans and queer community in ways that would have substantially changed the narrative. For example, after Kim ages, she never considers simply taking testosterone and it’s never even presented as an option. The young girls never find queer community and culture. Despite moments of homoeroticism between Tony and Kim, despite a strange heterosexual encounter between Bella and Kim, Girls Lost largely dodges discussions of LGBTQ+ community and how people felt about queer issues in their community. According to Wikipedia, Sweden is one of the most socially progressive countries in the European Union when it comes to LGBTQ+ rights. I’m not sure how that translates to the queer communities lived experience, but this novel—which was a hit in the country—suggests that sexual and gender minority communities might still be woefully misunderstood or spoken over.

As harsh some of my critiques seem, this is one of the most fun books I read all year and I would absolutely love to teach it one day.

I recommend this book for those interested in YA, international literature, translation, and the representation of LGBTQ+ groups.

Virga & Bone / Craig Childs / 2019

Virga & Bone / Craig Childs / 2019

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I first encountered the work of Craig Childs at Star Hall in Moab, Utah. The room was packed with locals hanging on his every word, especially as he described the rapturous beauty of flying through a virga. My partner was so impressed by his passion that she bought a copy of his book. While she was getting it signed, she mentioned she was a PhD student in Literature and a bashful Childs told her he wrote the book very, very hastily and to please not judge him too harshly. After reading Virga & Bone, all I have to say is if this isn’t Childs in top form, then Child’s other books must be bomb-ass. A true romanticist, his writing swells and sighs over our landscape. A snappy read, the language glides beneath your eyes like a magic carpet. Childs speaks with the voice of someone eroded, but not hardened by desert. He speaks with a blunt wisdom about its dangers and risks, but also with undeniable and infectious love. At the event, Childs talked about how his real aim in writing is not to make people read, but to make people go out to reverently, ecstatically experience the wonders of the Southwest on their own. His books are only supposed to hold you down while you wait for your next excursion, as most of us can’t live a nomadic life backpacking across our sparse, sparkling deserts.

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Another aspect of the book I appreciate is Child’s understanding of the history of the land. He weaves in bits of Navajo language and culture without stereotyping or exoticizing. Neither does it feel like he is speaking over or for Navajos or other indigenous groups. Reflecting on his relationship to the land, he argues, “If there was ever an illegal alien, I felt like one. I was walking over histories as if the earth was the only history, an error of arrogance and blindness I didn’t know I had… I’d been speaking it thinking myself a prince, an explorer. Now I was exploring the trenches of a canyon looking for the way out.” While I cringed at the word “illegal alien,” I appreciate his gesture of acknowledging how his whiteness shaped his relationship with the land and how part of the work of knowing this land is knowing its history beyond European colonialism. Later on, Childs speaks of the Southwest as an “exchange route”, a “Silk Road of North America.” In describing the history of the landscape, he names the atrocities, the “children in cages,” “murdered women,” and “concentration camps.” Childs uses the Southwest’s history as a counterargument against harsh and strict immigration policy. “Ask any shell trader a thousand years ago and they’d tell you that blocking the flow in a place like this will be a problem,” Childs reminds us. For someone who manages to stay otherwise politically neutral, I deeply appreciate these clear-eyed gestures.

If you love the outdoors, you’ll love Childs work.

I recommend this book for anyone interested in Utah, non-fiction, environmentalism, and deserts.

Now in Color / Jacqueline Balderrama / 2020

Now in Color / Jacqueline Balderrama / 2020

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Jacqueline Balderrama is a Latina poet who will expand the boundaries of Latinx writing beyond stereotype. Now in Color dances around the issue of authenticity. Featuring a series of definition poems in Spanish, the collection attempts to build a more intimate relationship with a language that is connected yet alien to Balderrama as she wasn’t raised speaking it. As a native Spanish speaker, I don’t see myself reflected in these poems, and I don’t necessarily relate. Some of the pronunciations even feel off to me: take “ES-pear-AHN-sah” for esperanza and “ohs-COO-ro” for oscuro. But that’s besides the point. These poems are about finding magic in the Spanish language as someone who is learning it, as someone who needs the language to access parts of their home. My favorite poem in the collection is even one of these definition poems, “panza”:

After four children, her shape is lonely

for the time she is most happy.

She practices locating her core in dance—

hula and flamenco at the Senior Center

where, the youngest of the elderly, she feels like a teenager

again. In performances, my sisters and I fold back

into the ocean waves of her fingers, her hips, her shore.

Balderrama excels most in these snapshot images that slowly drip off the page. They are some of the hardest poems to write without losing your audience in a yawn. In “Some Horses,” Balderrama describes the moment when incarcerated people first meet the horses they are to care for. I never thought the city boy in me would ever find the image of “sweet-smelling blocks of hay dry in gated fields” so moving! But it is.

Throughout the collection, Balderrama tackles a series of poems about the refugee crisis at the US-Mexico border. While Balderrama’s voice probably shouldn’t be centered in these conversations above the voices of folks like Javier Zamora and Karla Cornejo Villavicencio, I appreciate her series of poems revolving around immigration. Poems like “Water, 2014” are especially well-wrought and deserves to be included in the pantheon of borderlands literature.

I recommend this collection to anyone interested in poetry, Latinx literature, and writing about immigration.