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Book Review

Go Ahead In The Rain: Notes To A Tribe Called Quest by Hanif Abdurraqib

Go Ahead in the Rain / Hanif Abdurraqib / University of Texas Press / 2019

When We Got It From Here… Thank You 4 Your Service dropped in November 11, 2016, all I could hear was my own wounds. At the time, the people around me hadn’t even found the courage to name Donald Trump, instead referring to him as 45 or awkwardly stumbling around his name in conversation. I had lost a relationship to a romantic interest and mentor in what was easily the worst heartbreak of my life. I was building a community for undocumented students in a hostile conservative environment. In my headphones, I had Emilio Rojas (especially I hate Donald Trump), Residente, Jamila Woods, and J. Cole. As an ardent hip-hop head literally co-teaching a Poetics of Rap class with Adrian Matejka, I knew I was supposed to listen to and love the new Tribe album. I simply couldn’t find it in me to digest it.

In need of a soulful and relaxing read, I turned to Go Ahead in the Rain: Notes to A Tribe Called Quest by Hanif Abdurraqib a couple of weeks ago. I wanted an audiobook fluid and clear enough to listen to while I played video games, but still meaningful and important enough that I wouldn’t be better served by listening to music. I have been a long-time fan of Abdurraqib’s work. In 2013, I had the blessing of competing against him at the National Poetry Slam in Boston, before the Button Poetry deal, before the best-selling essay collections. There is a small place in my heart where a poet like Hanif will always exist in the crowded dimly lit slam venues, where he, she, or they will grace the stage and then disappear, forever out of your reach, only emblazoned on your memory. I come from communities historically excluded from publishing houses and official literary spaces. So, perhaps you can understand my joy as I began to see Abdurraqib’s star ascend. I eagerly purchased his first poetry collection and wrote this novice book review of his work. Now I turn to Abdurraqib’s work whenever I need a long and passionate eye, a stout and sturdy shoulder to turn to.

For newcomers to Abdurraqib’s essays, Go Ahead In The Rain steers far from the objective journalistic and academic style you might expect from a history book. This isn’t to say the book isn’t well-researched. Rather, Abdurraqib’s work is known—and loved—for his deeply personal forays into the contexts surrounding his subjects, including the material of his own life. Go Ahead In The Rain, for example, also narrates a portion of Abdurraqib’s middle school years and the definition of “cool” he had to navigate. A move like this would likely come across as navel-gazing or self-indulgent done by other writers. In Abdurraqib’s essays, such forays always imbue his subject with new and often surprising meaning. Understanding the definition of “cool” operative in Abdurraqib’s middle school in Columbus, Ohio proves enlightening to understanding the cultural niche the Native Tongues carved out for themselves.

Whether you’re watching The Get Down or Hip-Hop Evolution, or whether you’re reading The Rap Yearbook or Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop, you will inevitably notice the repetition of some of hip-hop’s most dramatic moments. Whether we are talking about hip-hop’s birth in the condemned streets of the Bronx or the beef between Biggie and Pac, there are stories hip-hop heads know and hold dearly. One of the sticks Tribe fans will measure this book by is how well Abdurraqib narrates these stories. For me, I love it when an artist can tell me a story I’ve heard a thousand times and still manage to teach me something new or keep me invested in the emotional narrative when I already know the ending of the story. I was excited by the narrative fluidity Abdurraqib brought to these stories, weaving personal narrative and hip-hop/political trivia into Tribe’s story without boring me or making me feel as if I am simply too old to appreciate what this story has to offer.

I especially dug Abdurraqib’s tender approach when narrating the tensions between Tip and Phife, his honest and critical appraisal of The Love Movement and its lukewarm reception, and his refusal to omit his own admittedly immature anger at Tip when Tribe broke up. No one could narrate the disappointments of Phife’s solo career with as gentle and loving of a hand as Abdurraqib. It was Abdurraqib who I turned to when Phife died, and he wrote this gorgeous elegy for him. One of the most heartbreaking and moving segments of the book is when Abdurraqib writes a letter to Cheryl Boyce-Taylor, Phife Dawg’s surviving mother who also happens to be a remarkable poet in her own right. The letter gives the reader a chance to glimpse at an intimacy and engagement with grief and death that only those whose shouldered its burden would know.

I wrote this book review re-listening to We Got It From Here… Thank You 4 Your Service, and entering more fully into its experience, grateful Abdurraqib gave me the push to explore not just Tribe, but a handful of classic hip-hop acts I have yet to get around to. For me, that is the true success of this book. I only interrupted listening sessions of the audiobook to return to the music, both familiar and new-to-me, Abdurraqib was engaging.  

I recommend this book to anyone interested in Hip-hop, Music, Black Studies, Biography, and creative non-fiction.

Postcolonial Love Poem by Natalie Diaz

Postcolonial Love Poem / Natalie Diaz / Graywolf Press / 2020

One of my favorite things about Natalie Diaz’s poetry and celebrity is how much it seems to rub some of the older poets I know wrong. One older Native poet, for example, believes When My Brother Was An Aztec was published too soon. According to them, the manuscript felt too much like an MFA thesis—with its trumpeting play and virtuoso with forms, which to them felt like mere exercises. Another older queer poet went out of their way to comment, “[Diaz] isn’t that great” in a way to suggest not that Diaz isn’t good, just that she’s not as amazing as her celebrity would make it seem.

Maybe these poets are right, but I think the things they would fault about Diaz are the precise reasons why I love her work. I love that When My Brother Was An Aztec stunts on em with ghazals, pantoums, and the like. I love that Postcolonial Love Poem feels overwritten, that it makes me reach for the dictionary time and time again for words as thicc as atman, cabochon, lapidary, alarum, mullion, and transom. Perhaps these are things that would make me side-eye other poets, but in Diaz, there is something so deliberate and authoritative about her voice, her political framing of her own work, that makes me fall for her. While it isn’t the primary or sole reason I love Diaz’s work, I confess, part of the reason I like the high-diction of her work is because it probably makes old white people reach for the dictionary.

If you have yet to fall for Natalie Diaz, try Postcolonial Love Poem. As unabashedly erotic and deftly political as its title would imply, the collection includes intensely sexual poems, flooding over with ecstasy (“Like Church,” “Ink-Light”, and “Ode to the Beloved’s Hips” being my favorite), poems about grief, race, her brother’s drug addiction, basketball, and the environment. These poems are all densely related to the body, which—per the seven-page prose poem “The First Water Is the Body”—extends beyond Western notions of arm, leg, leg, arm, head to also conceive of the land and water as equally, if not more important parts of the body.

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My favorite line is from the last poem “Grief Work”: “Achilles chased Hektor around the walls / of Ilium three times--: how long must I circle / the high gate / between her hip and knee / to sold the red-gold geometry / of her thigh?” Ugh.

Poems like “Grief Work,” like “Like Church,” like “Postcolonial Love Poem” are as full of grief as they are with love. I don’t feel like I have anything profound to say about them, just that as a grief-bound queer person of color, I am grateful for these love poems that hold the weight of history as tenderly as they do a lover’s waist. I am grateful that these poems can allude to wars lost and never-ending in the same swooping stanza where “we pleasure to hurt, leave marks / the size of stones—each cabochon polished / by our mouths.” (If you’re slow on the uptake there, she’s talking about leaving hickies.)

Postcolonial Love Poem is a must-read on your syllabus about feminism, ethnic studies, and environmentalism. Or if you’re simply looking for a hot piece of erotica to get you through the quarantine.  

There's Gunpowder in the Air

There’s Gunpowder in the Air / Manoranjan Byapari / trans. Arunava Sinha / Eka / 2018

The first time I went to El Salvador I was 18. I tasted my first anona. Met tios y primas I never knew existed. Milked a cow. Got stung by zancudos. Rode a horse. One of the most beautiful and jarring aspects of El Salvador, however, was my mother.

Montefresco, Summer 2011

Montefresco, Summer 2011

 At 18, little about my mother made much sense to me. I still didn’t have a good understanding of the history of El Salvador and while I admired her strength, faith, and charity, there was a lot about my mother that I thought I understood, but didn’t. One of the reasons that first trip to El Salvador was so remarkable is I saw my mother in a context where it felt she belonged. I had only really seen my mom as a foreigner. In the US, it would not be out of the ordinary for me to help my mom navigate somewhere, reading signs and such. In El Salvador, our dynamic switched. I was the outsider, reliant on her to understand how I should behave in spaces. It’s as if I had never seen a fish in water before. Suddenly, aspects of my mother’s personality made much more sense to me.

I am starting to more intentionally read Indian literature, partly because my partner is Bengali. While we have shared an extraordinary four years together—watching one another grow and stagger, fall and blossom—part of me is anxious because I have yet to see her in her home country. I know how much I don’t know yet. On top of that, my knowledge of Indian history is dismal. I’ve picked up a generous bit from my conversations with her, her roommate, and from my university studies. But my knowledge is clumsy at best.

It’s with this shaky footing I stepped into Manoranjan Byapari’s There’s Gunpowder in the Air. A slick and energetic novel, translated magnificently by Arunava Sinha, TGITA captures an attempt prison break by five Naxals. Naxals are members of the Naxalbari Movement, a violent revolutionary group in India that rattled the country’s core for brief but fiery years in the late sixties and early seventies. (Want to read more, look here). My brief excursions into Indian literature and history has taught me that the Naxalbari Movement is complicated historical wound that many sectors of the country are still very much processing. The Naxalbari movement was viciously repressed with as much, if not more violence than they wreaked—which is really saying something, because they were a militant bunch. The movement had sharp ideals, but often evokes complicated feelings from the Indians I know, as feels appropriate for the amount of murder involved.

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The novel is told in shifting perspectives, a move that really helps bring the bustling, overcrowded prison to life. We get the perspective of jailers, guards, Naxals, and moles alike, all with inebriating range and depth. One of my favorite novelistic techniques is a writer’s ability to dive in and out of side plots and characters to really breathe life into a community. Here, Byapari does so with the ease and muscle of someone who shared jailtime with the Naxals he narrates in this novel. Fair warning, the novel is chockful of heartbreaking, traumatizing subplots, grisly if casual descriptions of state brutality and degradation, and equally grisly if casual descriptions of poverty. The heaviness of it might crush you for a bit, and I definitely had to put down the book several times, because the lengths at which human beings will go to humiliate and harm one another is dizzying even to someone as disillusioned and cynical as I am. The shifting perspectives, however, does make this book easy to pick up again after putting it down for a few weeks, as I had.

One thing I appreciate about literature revolving the Naxalbari movement is its ethical wrestling. Social justice movements have a tendency to idealize themselves, to sometimes pit themselves unequivocally as victims. It is near impossible to view the Naxalbari movement through the rainbow-colored glasses of a social justice warrior. This book thrusts you into the moral wrestle of the jailers, deputies, Naxals, and prisoners, faced with a failing system.  There are many disappointments throughout, but also moments that will make your cheeks buckle with hope.

I recommend this book for anyone studying social justice, postcolonial literature, or prison studies. I also recommend it for creative writers studying perspective.

Kickdown

Kickdown / Rebecca Clarren / Arcade Publishing / 2018

As shameful as it is to confess, the first time I listened to Tracy Chapman I couldn’t relate. I may have been in high school or in the sophomoric years of undergrad, where part of me knew I had suffered more than most of my peers and believed it made me special. I definitely suffered more than some, but I had suffered nowhere near as much as I thought I had and it certainly did not make me special. My young self only wanted kicks and snares to treat my eardrums like punching bags. I wanted punchlines to uppercut my guts. There was so much I couldn’t hear in the nuance of a voice, in the careful fingering of a guitar, in the silence. Thankfully, I would later return to Tracy Chapman’s work with a clearer, if wetter, eye.

Once, Tracy Chapman’s music played on shuffle during a card ride, and the poet Leticia Hernandez Linares told me to change the track. She wasn’t up for the brewing of that set of emotions. The more I have sat with my own crushed hopes, my own tender and powerless love, the more Tracy Chapman’s music has made sense to me. The more its strings and hums have cut and calmed my wounds.

I feel the same way about Tracy Chapman’s music that I feel about rural America. Once I hated its silence, its slowness, its empty space, its darkness. I wanted to run back to my train-chugging city, its bright lights and slick rhythm. By extension, Kickdown is a novel I’m not sure I would have appreciated when I was young—but I should have. Written by Rebecca Clarren, a prize-winning journalist who reported on environmental issues in the rural West, Kickdown not only provides good material for discussing the politics of oil, water, and rural life, it also provides a penetrating look into the lives of three characters shaped by the classic rural values of self-sufficiency and hard work.

One of the questions Kickdown asks is how do these values fail and reward its main characters. Kickdown follows a pair of sisters, Susan and Jackie Dunbar, and Ray, an Iraq war veteran and police officer, and begins by capturing what certainly can count as some of their bleakest moments. Susan and Jackie have just lost their father and find themselves in the predicament of failing to adequately take care of his enormous ranch and livestock. Early on, Jackie gets ran over by a cow and Susan goes close to losing her mind. Ray, on the other hand, feels stuck in his marriage and drinks to avoid PTSD flashbacks of Iraq. If the book can feel a tiny bit slow at times, that’s because Kickdown is a book about setbacks.

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The novel opens with an impressively detailed description of a cow giving birth, a thrilling scene that shows Clarren did her homework and has earned her rural chops. There are similar moments scattered through the novel that I suspect will make ranchers and rural folk grin with recognition. One of my favorite aspects of the novel includes itsl turns of phrase, such as this nice zinger on page 40: “Shorty Lee has always been a real bee in cheesecake.” All my minor annoyances are now officially bees in cheesecake.

The novel offers this rather jargony definition of kickdown as an epigraph: a well will kick or kick down when the pressure of natural gas overcomes the pressure exerted by the mud column.” This makes sense as the novel rotates around the rippling effect a kickdown can have on a rural community. The result is much more dramatic than the scientific definition implies. A more casual reading of the title, on the other hand, can refer to the state of the main characters—these folks have definitely been kicked down.

What I love most about Kickdown is its tender portrayal of the messiness involved in getting your life back together after a major catastrophe. Each of the three main character have lost their dreams and face the challenge of rekindling their hope against tremendous power and odds, be it the promises they made to their father, the boundaries of a marriage, or the financial and legal strength of the oil industry. Clarren narrates all the action with the clean, cutting eye of a well-seasoned journalist mixed with the flare of a (good) buzzed poet.

I would strongly recommend teaching this book in a class about the rural West, environmental literature, in a creative writing class focusing on perspective or just writing some plain ole strong prose. If you are looking for a book to help you survive a moment that feels like it just upended your life, this book may be for you. 

When the Living Sing / Don't Call Us Dead: Surviving Black Death in the Poetry of Danez Smith and Yalie Kamara

When The Living Sing, Don’t Call Us Dead: Surviving Black Death in the Poetry of Danez Smith and Yalie Kamara

“how long

does it take

a story

to become

a legend?

how long before

a legend

becomes

a god or

forgotten?”

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Danez Smith poses us these difficult questions in “not an elegy,” a blistering meditation on survival that confronts the murders and suicides of different Black people. These lines are a direct call-and-response to the epigraph of their sophomore collection of poetry Don’t Call Us Dead (Graywolf Press, 2017). Smith introduces the collection with Drake’s hook on “Legend,” the opening track of his 2015 mixtape “If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late,” where the Cash Money rapper brags, “Oh my god, oh my god, if I die, I’m a legend.” Smith’s questions pull an awestruck Drake by the collar to interrogate what it actually means to become a legend when you die. ¿What does it mean be at risk of becoming Biggie Smalls or Mike Brown? For Drake, this realization is one of his greatest accomplishments. There’s the pride of knowing you’re a living legend—like Drake, like Danez—dominating the game and knowing your death would be a tragedy; then, there’s the dumbfounded pride and despair of knowing you’re a living legend, dominating the game and knowing your death will be a tragedy and because of the color of your skin, even that won’t save you; those who share your hue will never be afforded that privilege. They will never have their death properly mourned and have that mourning legitimized by the so-called justice system. “what legend did we deny their legend?” Smith asks. ¿What happens when that same legend is mythologized or forgotten? ¿How does it change the way we envision ourselves and, thereby, envision the world?

It is into this screaming assault on the sanctity of Black life that both Danez Smith and Yalie Kamara publish their new collections of poetry. Both collections find complementary, at times opposing, ways to transcend the grief of Black life in the United States. Danez Smith’s collection confronts the consequences of two fatal epidemics, white supremacy and HIV/AIDS, and wrings from their suffering the magnanimity to face the brutal realities of these diseases, as well as the unconquerable ability to imagine and enact a wondrous life within and without them. Yalie Kamara’s debut chapbook When the Living Sing (Ledge Mule Press, 2017), on the other hand, unpacks the rupture she experienced as a first-generation Sierra Leonean-American and finds in song the grace to transform the anguish of Black death and dislocation into the triumphant joy of survival. When I read Don’t Call Us Dead, I long for the bonebreaking joy of Kamara. When I read When the Living Sing, I long for the unflinching frankness of Smith’s eyes surveying his America. I am writing about both these collections together because I cannot read one without hearing the voice of the other harmonize and counterpoint. 

A look at their cover images highlight the resonances in their collections. When the Living Sing is inaugurated by a photograph Kamara took during her time living abroad in France. In it, a graffitied pair of scissors are about to cut free a heart-shaped balloon from its earthly tethers. The pairing of the image with the title implies that when the living sing, we unbind our hearts. By “couper ici” or “cutting here,” we can transcend beyond our worldly worries and limitations. Kamara’s songs are at times cutting and painful, but always, they are life-saving.

The cover image of Don’t Call Us Dead includes a similar image of balloons and flight: “the moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it,” a visceral image by visual artist Shikeith Cathey. Cathey’s work mines the too-often unacknowledged depths of Black masculinity, depicting Black men at their most vulnerable, at times naked, selves. In the cover image, two nude young black men ascend into an off-white sky. The first looks down in the precarious space between fear, reflection, and doubt, holding the delicate string of a black balloon in his left hand and the hand of another young black man in his right. The second looks up (¿hopefully?) to the slightly larger, slightly higher young man. The vulnerability here—the bravery and fear as they dare to do the unthinkable and take flight—is captured by the stark contrast between black and white and the expressive language of their profiles. The title of the image undergirds the entire piece with fear. ¿Will they stay faithful to the possibility of their flight? The title of the image implies that their ability to transcend hinges on something more precarious than “couper ici,” namely the fortitude of their faith to persist in the face of unspeakable odds.  

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The title of Smith’s collection, Don’t Call Us Dead, stretches the reach of the symbolic lexicon of the cover even further, opening up a slick allusion to the story of the Flying Africans. I first heard about the Flying Africans in conversation with Ross Gay, where he questioned me about the ways myth and metaphor illuminate and/or obscure violence. Igbo people, the mythology goes, survived the Middle Passage and upon reaching the shores of Savannah, Georgia, collectively decided to escape, to fly back home. According to wyt folks, in this case slave owner Roswell King, the group collectively walked into the ocean and drowned themselves to escape the horrors of slavery. According to over 200 years of African American folklore and literary tradition, however, the Igbo peoples flew back to Africa, sometimes as buzzards, sometimes joining hands and spinning in a circle until they rose into the sky and flew away. Like the story of the Flying Africans, the black boys and men that populate Smith’s heavens and earth have their lives denied, defined by their proximity to death; Smith creates in their poems a world where Black folk are given relief from violent death—with or without magic. Like the story of the Flying Africans, the Black folk who populate Kamara’s world find themselves “too beautiful not to be in hiding”; Kamara enacts through her poems a world where song can save us. 

I began this conversation with Smith’s “not an elegy” because it drives at the heart of Ross Gay’s question—¿what is the role of myth and metaphor in illuminating and/or obscuring violence?—and illuminates Kamara and Smith’s differences in responding to other important questions, namely ¿how does one overcome the grief in Black life in the United States? ¿what are the powers of prayer and song? ¿what are the limits? The second section of “not an elegy,” which is a remix of “not an elegy for Mike Brown,” a poem that went viral during the Ferguson riots and resistance in 2014, begins “i am sick of writing this poem,” a line that captured the pain and despair of so many Black writers speaking against police brutality that it has since become a cliché in the Black literary community. We enter this section of the poem with an immediate dismissal and frustration with the limits and redundancy of poetry, which like the courts, are useless in providing violated communities reprieve and justice. Smith rightly escalates the fight by the end of the third stanza, demanding “a war to bring the dead child back. / i at least demand a song. a head.” Here, the surprise is after the nausea felt of yet another Black life lost, of again needing to write the poem, the song, Smith reasserts the value of song and song’s important role in healing, despite the obvious need to ascertain justice for the victims of police brutality from the perpetrators. In the last section of “not an elegy,” Smith laments “i have no words to bring him back, i am / not magic enough.” If this sentiment is expressed with despair, it is not expressed with fatalism. What is so powerful about Smith’s work is that they does not fail to see and recount the devastation before them; they may flail, they may bite and kick and cry, but Smith never surrenders.

On the back cover, poet laureate Tracy K. Smith notes, “Don’t Call Us Dead gives me a dose of hope at a time when such a thing feels hard to come by.”  I’m not sure if hope is the right word. As Danez Smith suggests in a recent Mic50 interview, “to be real, the future sorta sucks. At least the one our collective imagining is leading to. It’s dry, like no water dry, and sad.” Hope is a precious comfort no one wants to abandon. I know because I’ve shouted my grief in the streets as one of the leaders of the sanctuary campus movement in my college town, and I’m now invited to speak at panels on activism and immigration. One of the questions our brilliant, beautiful, and exhausted young never fail to ask is “¿how do you stay hopeful?” We don’t know what we’d do without hope. When I look around my Americas, families torn apart by deportation, all the #metoo statuses by friends, family members, and lovers I have had, the endless list of grievances we share, hope is not what keeps me going. Hope is a poor solution for injustice.

I tell the young students that slavery took hundreds of years to “end” and those who lived under its yoke still fought and dreamed and gave their all to their loved ones. I hustle with no real expectations for change.  I don’t have another word for what propels me personally, but this “little prayer” by Danez Smith feels close:

let ruin end here

let him find honey

where there was once a slaughter

let him enter the lion’s cage

& find a field of lilacs

let this be the healing

& if not   let it be

The final stanza of this poem is the most important in the entire collection for me. What Smith offers us may not be healing, but it is the might and love to bear what we must.

While Smith’s work wrestles against the limitation of word, the limitation of song, Kamara’s entire collection is premised on capturing what does happen when the living sing. The chapbook opens with the Sierra Leonean proverb, “The song is done, the words remain,” a koan that dares me to believe we can live in song, in the healing and the emotional purity and beauty of it, that the words remain with us for a reason. Words are not just the dead bones of a song, the same way the bones of our loved ones are not just bones. In “Aubade For Every Room In Which My Mother Resides,” the first poem of the collection, Kamara listens to her mother’s singing, perhaps similar to Smith and definitely similar to myself, as a skeptic:

Before I knew her wail was a blues ballad,

I called her croon crazy. Thought this

a song I could do nothing with.

The youth in Kamara speaks with an arrogance the rest of the poem humbles and unravels. This is a powerful choice because the rest of the poem enacts for us the process of observing her mother pray and sing and then, Kamara praying and singing herself. “I am ready,” Kamara tells us halfway through the poem, and by the end, she is spelling her name in her throat, which is to find your identity, your inner strength. For Kamara, this is done by entering pain and expelling not the pain itself, but the root:

This is how she beckons me to hold this life,

with both hands, even when it aches like a

word shunted in bone.

I walk toward the sound of splinter exiting kin.

Dawn is peeling from dusk. And my mama

is teaching me how to depart from that

which does not love us.

Note: I always read this first poem backwards because I am not brave enough to read it forward. In reverse, each of the sections build to tell a story of betrayal of the mother’s heritage and a lack of access to prayer. Read forward, the right way, the reader is brought to their knees in prayer by the first poem of the collection. Kamara blesses you with “lungs that eat crystal”. The power to “make rubble sing”.  

While Smith cries “i have no words to bring him back, i am / not magic enough,” in “Resurrection,” prayerful words of the Kamara clan perform a miracle. The poem chronicles the grief of Kamara’s family as they mourn the loss of the writer’s grandmother. Kamara bears witness to a visitation by the grandmother who visited them by night and partook of a dinner offering left to her by her children. “The dead only die when the living refuse to sing for them,” Kamara teaches us and thus, presses into our hand the delicate balloon string of miracle, the power to keep our loved ones close to us, almost as if they were alive.

And therein lies the tension that makes me hug both of these collections tight, the racquetball in my brain as I struggle to find my way out of my particular despairs and grief. My hand is clenched tight as a vice around the string of a balloon, and I’m not sure whether it’s confidence or fear, faith or doubt.

The power of Kamara’s work is that she knows how to read the darkness, and in it, find beauty, resilience and light. In “Oakland as Home. Home as Myth,” Kamara combats negative rhetoric that attempts to reduce Oakland to a bullet-ridden “killing field,” flattening the lives of those who live and love and find joy in the city. She tells us,  

            We are the bucktoothed city that made you wish you

            never wore braces…

We fall and get back up again and tell you that we didn’t mean to make our

          mistakes look like a dance. All that big booty attitude in those small Bay

                        Area jeans…

To claim this is a city of endless nightfall is easy. If they knew how to read darkness

they would have figured it out by now:

the object that casts the biggest shadow is the one closest to the light.

Compare this with Smith’s beautiful poem “tonight, in Oakland,” where he fantasizes that “tonight / guns don’t exist. tonight, the police / have turned to their God for forgiveness… tonight, prisons turn to tulips / & prisoner means one who dances in yellow field.” Here, Smith’s spirit must transform reality to achieve freedom and reclaim Oakland, while Kamara manages to root this joy in Oakland’s reality. Whereas in Smith’s world Black men and boys must die to call snow black, whereas in Smith’s reality even the Black guy’s profile reads sorry, no black guys, in “Sweet Baby Fabulist,” Kamara shares the story of how her three-year-old nephew calls everything he loves, everything that is beautiful Black.

It’s not that Smith’s reality doesn’t have its share of celebration, joy, and reclamation; it’s more that Don’t Call Us Dead provides a map for those who don’t always have access to spiritual communities and supportive kinship that Kamara may. In “a note on the body,” Smith guides the forsaken and godless with the words,

when prayer doesn’t work:                 dance, fly, fire

this is your hardest scen

when you think the whole sad thing might end

but you live                 oh, you live

 

everyday you wake you raise the dead

            everything you do is a miracle

Smith has survived by finding the miracle in the Black boy with his unfloating feet, planted firmly on ground, holding a balloon. The same way James Baldwin reverses the N-word and spins it onto wyt people, throughout Don’t Call Us Dead, Smith fights to undo the stigma and portrayals on queer bodies, on Black bodies, on HIV+ bodies as dying, as dead and spins it on the United States. “You’re Dead, America,” declares Smith in his post-election poem. “Those brown folks who make / up the nation of my heart” are “realer than any god.”

While Smith may indulge in fantasy and myth—even dreaming of becoming a Flying African themself, as in “Dear White America”—their survival relies on building a soul tenacious enough to withstand the heat and explosiveness of White America. If that doesn’t work for you,  follow Kamara’s song and prayer and help her build her New America. Reader, take from both these collections what you need to keep pushing. Take this string. Fly.

Corazones Peludas: Two Dope Collections by Latina poets

Corazón / Yesika Salgado / Not a Cult Press / October 2017  

Peluda / Melissa Lozada-Oliva / Button Poetry / September 2017

Corazones Peludas: Two Gorgeous Poetry Collections by Centroamericanas

Imagine you are at a slumber party with all of your homegirls, complete with nail polish and cheap booze. Your homegirls give you two options: Would you rather be 1) “completely covered in fur, like, head-to-toe, monster type of shit,” or 2) “perfectly smoothie-smooth in all of the right places: thighs, crotch, armpits, upper lip, neck? But here is the caveat, alright: all of the hair that would have grown in those places takes the form of a tail.”

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Melissa Lozada-Oliva poses the reader this question and many more in her debut collection of poetry, Peluda (Button Poetry, 2017). On the front cover, the nightmarish image of Lozada-Oliva’s slumber party monster repeats on a daffodil-yellow background. If this hairy monster is comical or absurd, it is also an accurate portrayal of the monstrous ways American culture distorts the bodies of women who fail to uphold its rigid guidelines. The hairy monster is an externalization that perfectly symbolizes the anxieties many Latinas face. At the end of the slumber party poem, the speaker’s woke friends dismiss her party question, focusing instead on self-love and acceptance of their body hair; meanwhile, the speaker confesses, “I always choose the tail,” a heartbreaking, if silly conclusion to the game. Lozada-Oliva’s ability to balance whimsical humor with breathtaking disclosure is what makes her poems so magical. Lozada-Oliva deftly navigates Latina identity with a brutal playfulness, an undeniably addictive rhythm and punctuation that squeals and screams, giggles and sobs off the page.

As if in call-and-response to Peluda, Yesika Salgado published Corazón (Not A Cult, 2017), her debut collection of poetry. Corazón chronicles the poet’s journey through heartbreak and romance to self-love. Whereas Lozada-Oliva’s voice is unapologetically girly and visceral, Salgado strikes the page with a gut-dropping honesty and introspection. I am not sure how exactly Salgado would respond to Lozada-Oliva’s slumber party question, but in Salgado’s poem, aptly titled “Peluda,” she reveals the way our culture’s policing of hair has infected her relationships:

I used to leave your house before we fell asleep / tell you I had to get home before work the next morning…

The night sprawled out before me as I made my way home / to the razor blade in my shower / the hair on my chin growing / a hundred little fingers ready to give me away / ready to show you I am not the woman you think I am / that sometimes I am grizzly / manic / human

one day / I didn’t leave / you said love / I believed it / the sun found me and my bearded chin in your kitchen / stirring oatmeal / your hands on my waist / a soft song saying / so this is what it means to stay

Salgado’s poems have the preternatural ability of capturing the smallest domestic moments and excavating their emotional core. Her poems demonstrate the power of vulnerability, its ability to make love possible and heal wounds.

Peluda and Corazón are both poetry collections by Latinas whose bodies are under intense scrutiny—for their color, for their hair, for their size. They plunge their reader through the conundrums of contemporary Latina identity, a maze of mirrors where the authors’ immigrant heritage and self-perception are disfigured by the male gaze and xenophobia in America. A side-by-side reading of these collections reveals not only the common struggles shared by these two young Latina writers, but also the complimentary, if at times opposing, strategies for coping with the pressures of America’s beauty standards. In a culture that attempts to reduce Latinas to housekeepers and sexual objects, Melissa Lozada-Oliva and Yesika Salgado write poetry that demonstrates the complexity and range of Latina identity in the 21st century. Far from the flat portrayals of pan-Latino characters common in the mainstream, Lozada-Oliva (a Guatemalan-Columbian American) and Salgado (a Salvadoran American) unflinchingly unpack their fraught relationships to their Latinx backgrounds, to their bodies, and to men.

Both poets pay special attention to the ways destructive behaviors are passed down one generation to the next. In these moments, they reveal intergenerational trauma and reveal the work it takes to heal. In “Traditions,” Yesika Salgado parallels her mother’s response to her father’s misdeeds to her own response to her partner’s misbehaviors. When their men ask questions stemming from insecurity and guilt—such as “we are happy, aren’t we?” or “you’ve forgiven me, right?”—both Salgado and her mother fail to rebuke them or respond frankly. Rather than tell the men “the everything of everything,” Salgado responds with a tearful nod. The love and commitment Salgado and her mother have for their men overpowers their need to hold them accountable in this moment. The moment is filled with risk: Do I suffer in silence or do I upset this gentle moment? Can I let go of my hurt and resentment? Will things work out? Fear of the unknown, of loneliness, of being unloved, of fighting again and worse charges these pages with an explosive energy. In “Traditions,” Salgado chooses the path of her mother and refuses to spark the fuse—for now. The poem raises questions about the soundness of this choice, foreshadowing the rise of a speaker who will soon find her strength to demand more from her partners.  

In “I Shave My Sister’s Back Before Prom,” on the other hand, Lozada-Oliva describes how her sisters inherited hair from their father and fear from their mother. Here, the father not only works with the mother to police their appearance and behavior, he also gives them the physical trait that prevents them from fitting in. “maybe this has always been about our parents & all the things we never told them & all the ways they made us different,” Lozada-Oliva laments before shaving her sister’s back. Shaving, in the poem, becomes a celebrated act of rebellion, paralleled with their sneaky choice to stay up past their curfew.

Beauty routines accrue meaning throughout Peluda until they ultimately become redefined as acts of resistance. This move is crystallized in the last poem “Yosra Strings Off My Mustache Two Days After the Election in a Harvard Square Bathroom,” where the speaker declares, 

this isn’t oppression. this is, i got you.

i believe you. it hurts but what else are we going to do

it aches but we have no other choice do we

Beauty routines become rituals of love and self-love, where community and support are found. Lozada-Oliva knows she cannot escape oppression. She cannot heal all the wounds. The years of shame cannot be undone, but throughout Peluda, Lozada-Oliva overcomes shame by outperforming it, by beating it at its own game. 

If Lozada-Oliva and Salgado appear to be obsessed with hair, this compulsion is the result of living in communities so ready to attack them for any stray strand. In Salgado’s “Hair,” for example, the poet remembers, “you’d complain / about my hair. / how you always / found it in my sheets / after I’d gone home.” Stray hairs are often viewed as disgusting or annoying, but in the post-break-up phase of “Hair,” where the poet is suspicious of their ex’s infidelity, hair also becomes evidence of their relationship, and in turn, possible evidence of an affair to another woman. This realization raises suspicions about the motive behind the ex’s complaint, compounding the emotional weight granted to stray hairs.

Similarly, in “My Hair Stays on Your Pillow Like a Question Mark,” a white girl (Lozada-Oliva’s phrase, not mine) criticizes the speaker for leaving behind hair at her apartment. Almost the entire poem is end-stopped with double question marks, signaling the insecurity sparked by the white girl’s criticism and littering the poem all over with hair. Hair, as we know from “I Shave My Sister’s Back Before Prom,” becomes a symbol of Lozada-Oliva’s heritage, so in the poem, the white girl’s disgusts makes Lozada-Oliva insecure not just about her appearance, but her heritage:

imagine your hairs as daddy longlegs

crawling up the shower curtain??

daddy’s long legs??

daddy’s dark legs??

daddy’s hairy dark legs??

imagine you are what makes the white girls in a brooklyn

apartment scream??

except deep down?? you want to be a white girl

in a brooklyn apartment??

In these poems, hair has the power to define and literally create its bearers. Here, it transforms Lozada-Oliva into a spider, then her father, both of whom are terrifying and inhuman to the white girl in Brooklyn.

Like their relationships to their hair, their relationships with their homelands are equally fraught. In “Jenny and I” and “My Salvadoran Heart,” Salgado pushes past the clichés of homeland nostalgia to create a striking parallel between her longing for a homeland and her longing for a lover. As the first two poems of the collection, these poems become a sort of ars poetica, a map with which to read the poet’s journey through love and heartbreak. In “Jenny and I,” the mango is established as a place marker for El Salvador, and El Salvador is described romantically as “that country we considered wild / all that green / all those animals.” Salgado’s front cover, designed by Cassidy Tier, shows a heart growing beside a mango on the same branch. For Salgado, “love” is “a dangling fruit I ached to eat.” Similarly, in “My Salvadoran Heart,” Salgado tells us,

I am asked if I want a husband / asked if I will return to my country / they are the same question / I do not want to answer.

The conglomeration of romantic and diasporic longing makes each of Salgado’s love poems about more than heartbreak and love; they also become about having a difficult relationship with home and homeland. This understanding reveals deeper layers to poems like “Motherhood,” where the poet asks her lovers “aren’t I a home, baby?”—another question that rarely has an easy answer. Salgado’s question is not only about romance.

The way Salgado’s Salvadoran background becomes inseparable from her love life becomes inseparable from her own body image becomes inseparable from her parent’s relationship is mirrored in Lozada-Oliva’s “You Know How to Say Arroz con Pollo but Not What You Are.” In this poem, Lozada-Oliva unpacks her relationship to Spanish, and in the process, winds up narrating her parent’s romantic relationship and divorce. Lozada-Oliva ends the poem on lines about longing and distance:

i will tell you my Spanish is understanding that there are stories / that will always be out of my reach / there are people / who will never fit together the way that i wanted them to / there are letters / that will always stay / silent / there are some words that will always escape / me.

Lozada-Oliva’s Spanish is like Salgado’s mango—out of reach, escaping her. The last line break, however, implies a reversal in this relationship. My Spanish is me, the last line implies, suggesting this tangled relationship with love, language, and family history is, in fact, inescapable. Likewise, the break at “stay” implies there are words that always stay and also words that are always silent. 

Don’t let these troubled relationships make you believe everything these women receive from their heritage are stumbling blocks, however. Poems like “Los Corvos” and “The Women in My Family are Bitches” showcase the strength and wisdom these poets draw from the women in their families. In “Los Corvos,” Salgado’s machete-wielding matriarchs not only become role models of physical strength, but also the emotional strength it takes to draw boundaries and let go of toxic people. “I come from women who know how to fend for themselves,” Salgado tells us. “the blade is our friend. / and you? / you are a weed. / I know how to slice you out of me.” In “The Women in My Family are Bitches,” Lozada-Oliva proudly portrays the women in her family as “cranky” and “stuck up,” but if anything, Lozada-Oliva’s reclaiming of “bitch” reconstitutes the word to make it encapsulate the women in her family in all their complexity. If the women in Lozada-Oliva’s family are bitches, they’re the bitches who ask you to “give abuelita bendiciones!” They’re the bitches who worry about you enough to ask you to pray before the plane takes off and text them before you get home. Most importantly though, both Lozada-Oliva and Salgado’s women kin believe in a self-autonomy that will cut off those who betray them.

Peluda and Corazón both show us different ways of grappling with the pressures of Latina identity. While Lozada-Oliva finds power in converting beauty regimens into rituals of resistance, Corazón traces the arc of heartbreak and demonstrates the ways vulnerability makes love possible, even after heartbreak. “all of my poems are collection plates,” Salgado declares. “I fill / and fill / and fill / and fill / and / fill / I have yet to come up empty.” If you explore these collections, reader, neither will you